Historical fiction; Russia -- Social conditions -- 1801-1917 -- Fiction
Lebedeff had not returned, so towards evening Keller managed to
penetrate into the prince’s apartments. He was not drunk, but in a
confidential and talkative mood. He announced that he had come to tell
the story of his life to Muishkin, and had only remained at Pavlofsk
for that purpose. There was no means of turning him out; nothing short
of an earthquake would have removed him.
In the manner of one with long hours before him, he began his history;
but after a few incoherent words he jumped to the conclusion, which was
that “having ceased to believe in God Almighty, he had lost every
vestige of morality, and had gone so far as to commit a theft.” “Could
you imagine such a thing?” said he.
“Listen to me, Keller,” returned the prince. “If I were in your place,
I should not acknowledge that unless it were absolutely necessary for
some reason. But perhaps you are making yourself out to be worse than
you are, purposely?”
“I should tell it to no one but yourself, prince, and I only name it
now as a help to my soul’s evolution. When I die, that secret will die
with me! But, excellency, if you knew, if you only had the least idea,
how difficult it is to get money nowadays! Where to find it is the
question. Ask for a loan, the answer is always the same: ‘Give us gold,
jewels, or diamonds, and it will be quite easy.’ Exactly what one has
not got! Can you picture that to yourself? I got angry at last, and
said, ‘I suppose you would accept emeralds?’ ‘Certainly, we accept
emeralds with pleasure. Yes!’ ‘Well, that’s all right,’ said I. ‘Go to
the devil, you den of thieves!’ And with that I seized my hat, and
walked out.”
“Had you any emeralds?” asked the prince.
“What? I have emeralds? Oh, prince! with what simplicity, with what
almost pastoral simplicity, you look upon life!”
Could not something be made of this man under good influences? asked
the prince of himself, for he began to feel a kind of pity for his
visitor. He thought little of the value of his own personal influence,
not from a sense of humility, but from his peculiar way of looking at
things in general. Imperceptibly the conversation grew more animated
and more interesting, so that neither of the two felt anxious to bring
it to a close. Keller confessed, with apparent sincerity, to having
been guilty of many acts of such a nature that it astonished the prince
that he could mention them, even to him. At every fresh avowal he
professed the deepest repentance, and described himself as being
“bathed in tears”; but this did not prevent him from putting on a
boastful air at times, and some of his stories were so absurdly comical
that both he and the prince laughed like madmen.
“One point in your favour is that you seem to have a child-like mind,
and extreme truthfulness,” said the prince at last. “Do you know that
that atones for much?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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