Historical fiction; Russia -- Social conditions -- 1801-1917 -- Fiction
It struck him that the idea of the duel might not have occurred to
Keller alone, but that his lesson in the art of pistol-loading might
have been not altogether accidental! “Pooh! nonsense!” he said to
himself, struck by another thought, of a sudden. “Why, she was
immensely surprised to find me there on the verandah, and laughed and
talked about _tea!_ And yet she had this little note in her hand,
therefore she must have known that I was sitting there. So why was she
surprised? Ha, ha, ha!”
He pulled the note out and kissed it; then paused and reflected. “How
strange it all is! how strange!” he muttered, melancholy enough now. In
moments of great joy, he invariably felt a sensation of melancholy come
over him—he could not tell why.
He looked intently around him, and wondered why he had come here; he
was very tired, so he approached the bench and sat down on it. Around
him was profound silence; the music in the Vauxhall was over. The park
seemed quite empty, though it was not, in reality, later than half-past
eleven. It was a quiet, warm, clear night—a real Petersburg night of
early June; but in the dense avenue, where he was sitting, it was
almost pitch dark.
If anyone had come up at this moment and told him that he was in love,
passionately in love, he would have rejected the idea with
astonishment, and, perhaps, with irritation. And if anyone had added
that Aglaya’s note was a love-letter, and that it contained an
appointment to a lover’s rendezvous, he would have blushed with shame
for the speaker, and, probably, have challenged him to a duel.
All this would have been perfectly sincere on his part. He had never
for a moment entertained the idea of the possibility of this girl
loving him, or even of such a thing as himself falling in love with
her. The possibility of being loved himself, “a man like me,” as he put
it, he ranked among ridiculous suppositions. It appeared to him that it
was simply a joke on Aglaya’s part, if there really were anything in it
at all; but that seemed to him quite natural. His preoccupation was
caused by something different.
As to the few words which the general had let slip about Aglaya
laughing at everybody, and at himself most of all—he entirely believed
them. He did not feel the slightest sensation of offence; on the
contrary, he was quite certain that it was as it should be.
His whole thoughts were now as to next morning early; he would see her;
he would sit by her on that little green bench, and listen to how
pistols were loaded, and look at her. He wanted nothing more.
The question as to what she might have to say of special interest to
himself occurred to him once or twice. He did not doubt, for a moment,
that she really had some such subject of conversation in store, but so
very little interested in the matter was he that it did not strike him
to wonder what it could be. The crunch of gravel on the path suddenly
caused him to raise his head.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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