The Idle Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
There, in that supernatural land, he appears as a fair-haired and
saintlike young man--fair hair and goodness always go together on the
stage. No respectable audience would believe in one without the other.
I knew an actor who mislaid his wig once and had to rush on to play the
hero in his own hair, which was jet-black, and the gallery howled at
all his noble sentiments under the impression that he was the villain.
He--the shy young man--loves the heroine, oh so devotedly (but only
in asides, for he dare not tell her of it), and he is so noble and
unselfish, and speaks in such a low voice, and is so good to his mother;
and the bad people in the play, they laugh at him and jeer at him, but
he takes it all so gently, and in the end it transpires that he is such
a clever man, though nobody knew it, and then the heroine tells him she
loves him, and he is so surprised, and oh, so happy! and everybody loves
him and asks him to forgive them, which he does in a few well-chosen and
sarcastic words, and blesses them; and he seems to have generally such
a good time of it that all the young fellows who are not shy long to be
shy. But the really shy man knows better. He knows that it is not quite
so pleasant in reality. He is not quite so interesting there as in the
fiction. He is a little more clumsy and stupid and a little less devoted
and gentle, and his hair is much darker, which, taken altogether,
considerably alters the aspect of the case.
The point where he does resemble his ideal is in his faithfulness. I am
fully prepared to allow the shy young man that virtue: he is constant in
his love. But the reason is not far to seek. The fact is it exhausts
all his stock of courage to look one woman in the face, and it would
be simply impossible for him to go through the ordeal with a second.
He stands in far too much dread of the whole female sex to want to go
gadding about with many of them. One is quite enough for him.
Now, it is different with the young man who is not shy. He has
temptations which his bashful brother never encounters. He looks around
and everywhere sees roguish eyes and laughing lips. What more natural
than that amid so many roguish eyes and laughing lips he should become
confused and, forgetting for the moment which particular pair of roguish
ayes and laughing lips it is that he belongs to, go off making love
to the wrong set. The shy man, who never looks at anything but his own
boots, sees not and is not tempted. Happy shy man!
Not but what the shy man himself would much rather not be happy in that
way. He longs to "go it" with the others, and curses himself every day
for not being able to. He will now and again, screwing up his courage
by a tremendous effort, plunge into roguishness. But it is always a
terrible _fiasco_, and after one or two feeble flounders he crawls out
again, limp and pitiable.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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