The Idle Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
I am getting away, though, I fear, from my "furnished apartments," and
I hardly know how to get back. But I have some excuse for my meanderings
this time. It is a piece of old furniture that has led me astray, and
fancies gather, somehow, round old furniture, like moss around old
stones. One's chairs and tables get to be almost part of one's life and
to seem like quiet friends. What strange tales the wooden-headed old
fellows could tell did they but choose to speak! At what unsuspected
comedies and tragedies have they not assisted! What bitter tears have
been sobbed into that old sofa cushion! What passionate whisperings the
settee must have overheard!
New furniture has no charms for me compared with old. It is the old
things that we love--the old faces, the old books, the old jokes. New
furniture can make a palace, but it takes old furniture to make a home.
Not merely old in itself--lodging-house furniture generally is that--but
it must be old to us, old in associations and recollections. The
furniture of furnished apartments, however ancient it may be in reality,
is new to our eyes, and we feel as though we could never get on with it.
As, too, in the case of all fresh acquaintances, whether wooden or human
(and there is very little difference between the two species sometimes),
everything impresses you with its worst aspect. The knobby wood-work and
shiny horse-hair covering of the easy-chair suggest anything but ease.
The mirror is smoky. The curtains want washing. The carpet is frayed.
The table looks as if it would go over the instant anything was rested
on it. The grate is cheerless, the wall-paper hideous. The ceiling
appears to have had coffee spilt all over it, and the ornaments--well,
they are worse than the wallpaper.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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