The Idle Thoughts of an Idle FellowJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
Huddle them up in your lumber-rooms, oh, world! Shut them fast in and
turn the key of poverty upon them. Weld close the bars, and let them
fret their hero lives away within the narrow cage. Leave them there to
starve, and rot, and die. Laugh at the frenzied beatings of their hands
against the door. Roll onward in your dust and noise and pass them by,
forgotten.
But take care lest they turn and sting you. All do not, like the fabled
phoenix, warble sweet melodies in their agony; sometimes they spit
venom--venom you must breathe whether you will or no, for you cannot
seal their mouths, though you may fetter their limbs. You can lock the
door upon them, but they burst open their shaky lattices and call
out over the house-tops so that men cannot but hear. You hounded wild
Rousseau into the meanest garret of the Rue St. Jacques and jeered at
his angry shrieks. But the thin, piping tones swelled a hundred years
later into the sullen roar of the French Revolution, and civilization to
this day is quivering to the reverberations of his voice.
As for myself, however, I like an attic. Not to live in: as residences
they are inconvenient. There is too much getting up and down stairs
connected with them to please me. It puts one unpleasantly in mind of
the tread-mill. The form of the ceiling offers too many facilities for
bumping your head and too few for shaving. And the note of the tomcat
as he sings to his love in the stilly night outside on the tiles becomes
positively distasteful when heard so near.
No, for living in give me a suit of rooms on the first floor of a
Piccadilly mansion (I wish somebody would!); but for thinking in let
me have an attic up ten flights of stairs in the densest quarter of the
city. I have all Herr Teufelsdrockh's affection for attics. There is a
sublimity about their loftiness. I love to "sit at ease and look down
upon the wasps' nest beneath;" to listen to the dull murmur of the human
tide ebbing and flowing ceaselessly through the narrow streets and
lanes below. How small men seem, how like a swarm of ants sweltering in
endless confusion on their tiny hill! How petty seems the work on which
they are hurrying and skurrying! How childishly they jostle against
one another and turn to snarl and scratch! They jabber and screech and
curse, but their puny voices do not reach up here. They fret, and fume,
and rage, and pant, and die; "but I, mein Werther, sit above it all; I
am alone with the stars."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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