"But then, while I worked," pursued Brian, "and I give you my word I
_did_ work, away went the money. You've no idea what it is in London;
you've had some one to provide everything for you--I had to provide for
myself. And then I found that the days of genius out-at-elbows are gone
past; genius must be well dressed now, and make something of a figure,
or he'll be mistaken for a beggar. It would take too long to explain,
but the thing has to be done; it's absolutely necessary. And so"--with
a smile and a shrug of his shoulder--"the money went."
"All of it?" asked Comethup, in a low voice.
"Most of it. I know it seems a lot, but there it is--or rather there it
isn't. Dear old boy"--he leaned affectionately nearer to Comethup--"I
suppose we poor devils who live by our wits don't take life quite in
the same way as a more sober citizen might do. I can't account for it,
but if you look back, as I have done, over the histories of any men
who've made anything of a stir in the world, you'll find they were
improvident, thriftless rascals, who never ought to have been trusted
with a penny. They ought to have been given two suits of clothes a
year, without any pockets, and fed by the state. It's a horrible
condition of things, that a man who's doing work that he hopes will
live should have to fight and beg for bread and butter. There, it's no
use moralizing; that's what I told myself two days ago in London, when
I'd come down to the last five-pound note. 'I'll go to Comethup,' said
I; 'Comethup is a dear good chap, with plenty of money and nothing to
do with it; Comethup knows what I'm going to do, and how I'm working,
and all my hopes and plans; Comethup won't see me fall to the ground.'
So here I am."
Poor Comethup sat for a moment in silence. He felt the delicacy and yet
at the same time the falseness of the position in which he stood. With
that feeling which was always strongest in him--the desire not to wound
any one's feelings--he was prompted now to put the matter as gently as
possible; but an explanation must be given, and given firmly. After a
moment's silence, he looked round at Brian with a troubled face; Brian,
for his part, was smiling and quite at ease.
"You see, Brian," he began, "I want to help you very much; I should
really feel much happier if you had the money altogether. But then
my aunt--_our_ aunt, I should say--has been very good to me, and has
never denied me anything. The money I lent you before was hers, and as
she--well, as she doesn't----"
"Doesn't like me, you mean," broke in Brian, with a laugh. "Oh, I know
that quite well; and I can assure you I haven't the least respect for
_her_. What were you going to say?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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