Comethup's visits to the old town became of necessity more frequent. It
was splendid to think, as he started off from London on each occasion,
that in the desolate garden would be waiting the woman who watched for
his coming and listened for his footsteps through weary days when he
could not reach her. Once or twice he had suggested that she should
go to London as his aunt's guest, and see all the wonders of that
wonderful city; but she had hung back shyly, pleading that there was
plenty of time, or that she liked better to see him down there. Always
she had some half-laughing excuse, so that he ceased at last to urge
her, and was content to live in the happy present, and to leave the
more formal questions of introduction and such like matters to the
future. Always, too, she was the same petulant, impulsive, warm-hearted
creature, quick to anger and as sudden in her repentance; wounding
him deeply at times, and yet striving afterward to heal the wound
with so much of love and tenderness and self-reproach that he would
not willingly have been without the pain which revealed to him such
depths of wonderful compassion in her. Each night, when he sought his
bed, there was some faint bitterness in his heart; and yet, greater
than the bitterness, the remembrance of some beautiful phrases she had
used, some sudden, half-shy glance of her eyes, some wholly spontaneous
caress. His love for her grew with the wonder of her; but she seemed
always so intangible, so changeful, that he was never sure of her--was
forever, after he had parted from her, on the verge of rushing back to
crave her forgiveness for this, or her clearer understanding of that.
Once, when he parted from her at night under the balcony, she
clung to him, held him for a moment after they had whispered their
"Good-nights," and looked up into his eyes. He saw her own were
swimming in tears. "Dear," she whispered, "I wish I were kinder to you;
you deserve so much more than I can ever give you."
"No," he replied, "I don't deserve anything; you've given me already
more than I ever hoped to gain. Why, you're the best woman in the whole
world, and I----"
She put her hand quickly on his lips. "And you are the best man--better
and more patient than any one else could be. Tell me"--she laid
her head upon his breast, and he had to bend his own to catch the
words--"tell me, what would you do if you found--if it were possible
that I did not love you?"
His arms closed more tightly about her. "It isn't fair to jest about
that," he said. "Why should you think about it at all? You do love me?"
"Yes, of course. But what would you do? Would it mean--oh, how serious
you are!--would it mean so much to you? Think: I vex and trouble
you a hundred times a day. I know I do, only you're too good to say
anything about it. Wouldn't it be better if you loved some one--some
one who loved you steadily and firmly, just as you deserve to be loved?
Wouldn't it be better?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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