TAKING THE CURE, BY THE SHORES OF CAT CREEK Now, in my more or less checkered career before the more or less checkered Public, I have been asked to publicly indorse everything from Chewing Gum, Face Beautifiers, Patent Cocktail Shakers, Ma Junk Sets, even Corsets, Cigarettes, and Chewing Tobacco, all of which I didn’t use or know anything about. But I always refused. You never heard me boosting for anything, for I never saw anything made that the fellow across the street didn’t make something just as good. But, at last, I have found something that I absolutely know no one else has something just as good as, for an all-seeing Nature put this where it is and it’s the only one he had, and by a coincidence it is located in the Town near the ranch where I was born and raised. So I hereby and hereon come out unequivocally (I think that’s the way you spell it) in favor of a place that has the water that I _know_ will cure you. You might ask, cure me of what? Why, cure you of anything--just name your disease and dive in. Claremore, Oklahoma, is the birthplace of this Aladdin of health waters. Some misguided Soul named it RADIUM WATER, but Radium will never see the day that it is worth mentioning in the same breath as this Magic Water. Why, to the afflicted and to all suffering Humanity, a Jug of this Water is worth a wheelbarrow full of Radium. Still, even under the handicap of a cheap name, this liquid Godsend has really cured thousands. Now you may say, “Oh you boost it because you live there,” but I don’t want you to think so little of me that you would think I would misguide a sick person, just for the monetary gain to my Home Town. We don’t need you that bad. The city is on a self supporting basis without Patients, just by shipping the Water to Hot Springs, Ark., Hot Springs, Va., West Baden, Ind., and Saratoga, N. Y. Now, as to a few of the Ignorant who might still be in the dark as to where the Home of this Fountain of Youth is located, I will tell you. I shouldn’t waste my time on such Low Brows, but unfortunately they get sick and need assistance the same as the 95 Million others who already know where Claremore is located. It is located, this Mecca of the ill, about 17 hundred miles west of New York, (either City or State, depends on which ever one you happen to be in). You bear a little south of west, after leaving New York, till you reach Sol McClellan’s place, which is just on the outskirts of Claremore. Before you get into the City proper, if you remember about 500 miles back, you passed another Town. Well, that was St. Louis, most of which is in Illinois. Now, if you are in the North, and happen to get something the matter with you, we are 847 and a half miles South by West from Gary, Indiana. We have cured hundreds of people from Chicago, Ill. from Gun shot wounds inflicted in attempted murders and robberies. There is only one way to avoid being robbed of anything in Chicago and that is not to have anything.