She had declared herself, as she had known sooner or later she must,
and she had declared on the side of the girl who loved Johnny Everard
better than her life.
At home Johnny wondered at the change that had come to the two women
whom he loved and believed in. It seemed to him that somehow they were
antagonistic to him, they seemed to cling together.
Ellice deliberately avoided him. When he asked her to go out, as in the
old days, she refused, and when he felt hurt Connie sided with her.
“Con, what does it mean?” he cried in perplexity.
“Nothing. What should it mean?”
“But it does. Ellice hardly speaks to me. When I speak to her she just
answers. You—you”—he paused—“and you are different even. What have I
done?”
“You have done nothing—yet, Johnny. It is what you are going to do—that
troubles me and makes me anxious.”
He stared, open-eyed.
“How?”
“Your marriage!”
“With Joan. You mean that you are against her?”
“I am against any woman who would have you for a husband and give you
none of her heart,” cried Connie.
“Why—why?” he stammered. “Con, you couldn’t expect that Joan would fall
in love with a chap like me?”
“Then why is she going to marry you? Isn’t marriage a union of love and
hearts? Oh, Johnny, I am anxious, very anxious. I hate it, this
loveless marriage—”
“But I love her!” he said reverently.
“Do you—can you go on loving her? Can you? Your own heart starved, can
you continue to love and give again and again? No, no, I know
better—the time will come when you will realise you have married a cold
and beautiful statue, and your heart will wither and shrivel within
you, Johnny.”
“Con, in time I will make her care for me a little.”
“She never will!”
“Why?”
Connie looked out of the window. “Johnny, dear, if I am saying
something that will hurt you, will you forgive me?—knowing that I love
you so dearly, that all I want to see is your happiness, that I hate to
see you imposed on, made a fool of, made a convenience of!”
“Connie, what do you mean?”
“I mean that I believe that Joan Meredyth will never love you, because
all the heart she has to give has been given to someone else.”
“You have no right to say that. What do you know? What can you know?”
“I know nothing. I can only guess. I can only stumble and grope in the
dark. Think! That woman, lovely, sweet, brilliant, could she accept all
that you offer her and give nothing in return if she were heart-free?
Wouldn’t your love for her appeal to her, touch her, force some
tenderness in response? Oh, I have watched her. I have seen, and I have
guessed what I know must—must be true. For she is all woman; she is no
cold icicle, but you have not touched her heart, Johnny, and you never
will, and so—so, my dear,” Connie’s voice choked with a sob, “you’ll
hate me for this—Johnny!”
He went to her, put his arm about her, and held her tightly and kissed
her.
“To prove my hate, dear,” he whispered, and then he went out with a
very thoughtful look on his face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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