Artists -- Fiction; British -- France -- Paris -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Watch for the postman. Look at Betty's portrait. Call on the concierge.
(He had been used to dislike the employment of dirty instruments.) Call
on the florist. (There was a decency in things, even if all one's being
were contemptibly parched for the sight of another woman.) Call and
enquire for the poor Jasmine Lady. Studio--think of Betty--look at her
portrait--pretend to work. Meals at fairly correct intervals. Call on
the concierge. Look at the portrait again. Such were the recurrent
incidents of Vernon's life. Between the incidents came a padding of
futile endeavour. Work, he had always asserted, was the cure for
inconvenient emotions. Only now the cure was not available.
And the postman brought nothing interesting, except a letter, post-mark
Denver, Col., a letter of tender remonstrance from the Brittany girl,
Miss Van Tromp.
Then came the morning when the concierge, demurely assuring him of her
devotion to his interests, offered to post a letter. No bribe--and he
was shameless in his offers--could wring more than that from her. And
even the posting of the letter cost a sum that the woman chuckled over
through all the days during which the letter lay in her locked drawer,
under Lady St. Craye's bank note and the divers tokens of "_ce
monsieur's_" interest in the intrigue--whatever the intrigue might
be--its details were not what interested.
Vernon went home, pulled the table into the middle of the bare studio
and wrote. This letter wrote itself without revision.
"Why did you go away?" it said. "Where are you? where can I see you?
What has happened? Have your people found out?"
A long pause--the end of the pen bitten.
"I want to have no lies or deceit any more between us. I must tell
you the truth. I have never been engaged to anyone. But you would
not let me see you without that, so I let you think it. Will you
forgive me? Can you? For lying to you? If you can't I shall know
that nothing matters at all. But if you can forgive me--then I shall
let myself hope for impossible things.
"Dear, whether it's all to end here or not, let me write this once
without thinking of anything but you and me. I have written to your
father asking his permission to ask you to marry me. To you I want
to say that I love you, love you, love you--and I have never loved
anyone else. That's part of my punishment for--I don't know what
exactly. Playing with fire, I suppose. Dear--can you love me? Ever
since I met you at Long Barton" (Pause: what about Miss Van Tromp?
Nothing, nothing, nothing!) "I've not thought of anything but you. I
want you for my very own. There is no one like you, my love, my
Princess.
"You'll write to me. Even if you don't care a little bit you'll
write. Dear, I hardly dare hope that you care, but I daren't fear
that you don't. I shall count the minutes till I get your answer. I
feel like a schoolboy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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