England -- Fiction; Honeymoons -- Fiction; Love stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Voyages and travels -- Fiction
"Bless your good 'art, my dear," the globular lady was wheezing into
the ear of the mock bride. "Married to-day, was you? I'm sure you look
it, both of you--every inch you do. But we 'aven't got the stuff in the
place for 'arf that lot."
"How soon could you get it?"
"I could send a couple of the men out. Do it in ten minutes--or less, if
Prickets around the corner's not sold out."
"How much will it cost--something for each of them--cake if not
buns--sweets if not cake--?"
The round woman made a swift mental calculation and announced the
result.
She who looked so much like a bride turned to him who seemed her
bridegroom. "Give me some money, please, will you?"
Money changed hands, and changed again.
"Now, lookee 'ere," said the round one, "you let me manage this 'ere for
you. If you don't you'll be giving three times over to the pushing ones,
and the quiet ones won't get nothing but kicked shins and elbows in the
pit of stomachs. I know every man jack of them 'cept the hinfans in
arms, and even them I knows the ones as is carrying of them. Wait till I
send the chaps off for the rest of the stuff."
The crowd outside surged excitedly, and the frail arms still waved to
the tune of, "Me next, teacher!" All along the street the faces of the
houses changed features as slatternly women and shirt-sleeved men leaned
out of the windows to watch and wonder. When the baker's wife rolled
back into the shop she found the girl silent, with lips that trembled.
"There, don't you upset yourself, my pretty," said the round one.
"You'll like to give it to 'em with your own hands, I lay. Take and
begin on what's before you--let 'em come in one door and out of the
other, and I'll see as they don't come twice."
"You do it," said the girl, and she spoke to Edward over her shoulder.
"I didn't think it would be like this. Tell them we've got to go, but
Mrs. Peacock will give them each a bun."
"How clever of her to have noticed the name," he thought; but he said,
"Are you sure you don't want to have the pleasure of seeing their
pleasure?"
"No--no," she said. "Let's get away. I can't bear it. Mrs. Peacock will
see to it for us--won't you?"
"That I will, lovey, and keep the change for you against you call again.
You can trust me."
"We don't want any change," she said. "Spend it all on buns, or cake, or
anything you like. It _is_ good of you. Oh, good-by, and thank you--so
much. I didn't think it would be like this," she said, and gave Mrs.
Peacock both hands, while Edward explained to the crowd outside.
A wail of disappointment went up, but stayed itself as Mrs. Peacock
rushed to the door.
"It's all true," she said, in that thick, rich, caky voice; "every good
little boy and gell's to have a bun. Now then," she added, in a perfect
blaze of tactlessness, "three cheers for the bride and bridegroom, and
many happy returns."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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