The poor Lay-brother knew Not on earth what to do-- He caught hold of the Broomstick and snapt it in two.-- Worse and worse!--Like a dart Each part made a start, And he found he'd been adding more fuel to fire, For _both_ now came loaded with Meux's entire; Combe's, Delafield's, Hanbury's, Truman's--no stopping-- Goding's, Charenton's, Whitbread's continued to drop in, With Hodson's pale ale, from the Sun Brewhouse, Wapping. The firms differ'd then, but I can't put a tax on My memory to say what their names were in Saxon. To be sure the best beer Of all did not appear; For I've said 'twas in June, and so late in the year The "Trinity Audit Ale" is not come-at-able, --As I've found to my great grief when dining at that table. Now extremely alarm'd, Peter scream'd without ceasing, For a flood of brown-stout he was up to his knees in, Which, thanks to the Broomstick, continued increasing; He fear'd he'd be drown'd, And he yell'd till the sound Of his voice, wing'd by terror, at last reach'd the ear Of St. Dunstan himself, who had finish'd _his_ beer, And had put off his mitre, dalmatic, and shoes, And was just stepping into his bed for a snooze. His Holiness paused when he heard such a clatter; He could not conceive what on earth was the matter. Slipping on a few things, for the sake of decorum, He issued forthwith from his _Sanctum sanctorum_. And calling a few of the Lay-brothers near him, Who were not yet in bed, and who happen'd to hear him, At once led the way, Without further delay, To the tower where he'd been in the course of the day. Poor Peter!--alas!--though St. Dunstan was quick, There were two there before him--Grim Death, and Old Nick!-- When they open'd the door out the malt-liquor flow'd, Just as when the great Vat burst in Tot'n'am Court Road; The Lay-brothers nearest were up to their necks In an instant, and swimming in strong double X; While Peter, who, spite of himself now had drank hard, After floating awhile, like a toast in a tankard, To the bottom had sunk, And was spied by a monk, Stone-dead, like poor Clarence, half drown'd and half drunk.