The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and MarvelsIngoldsby, Thomas
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The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and Marvels
Ingoldsby, Thomas
English fiction -- 19th century; English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
It's a great many years ago--mine then were few--
Since I spent a short time in the old _Courageux_;--
I think that they say
She had been, in her day,
A First-rate,--but was then what they term a _Rasée_,--
And they took me on board in the Downs where she lay.
(Captain Wilkinson held the command, by the way.)
In her I pick'd up, on that single occasion,
The little I know that concerns Navigation,
And obtained, _inter alia_, some vague information
Of a practice which often, in cases of robbing,
Is adopted on shipboard--I think it's call'd "Cobbing."
How it's managed exactly I really can't say,
But I think that a Boot-jack is brought into play--
That is, if I'm right:--it exceeds my ability
To tell how 'tis done; But the system is one
Of which Sancho's exploit would increase the facility.
And, from all I can learn, I'd much rather be robb'd
Of the little I have in my purse, than be "cobb'd;"--
That's mere matter of taste:
But the Frenchman was placed--
I mean the old scoundrel whose actions we've traced--
In such a position, that, on this unmasking,
His consent was the last thing the men thought of asking.
The old woman, too, Was obliged to go through,
With her boys, the rough discipline used by the crew,
Who, before they let one of the set see the back of them,
"Cobb'd" the whole party,--ay, "every man Jack of them."
MORAL.
And now, Gentle Reader, before that I say
Farewell for the present, and wish you good day,
Attend to the moral I draw from my lay!--
If ever you travel, like Anthony Blogg,
Be wary of strangers!--don't take too much grog!--
And don't fall asleep, if you should, like a hog!--
Above all--carry with you a curly-tail'd Dog!
Lastly, don't act like Blogg, who, I say it with blushing,
Sold Sancho next month for two guineas at Flushing;
But still on these words of the Bard keep a fix'd eye,
INGRATUM SI DIXERIS, OMNIA DIXTI!!!
_L'Envoye._
I felt so disgusted with Blogg, from sheer shame of him,
I never once thought to inquire what became of him;
If _you_ want to know, Reader, the way, I opine,
To achieve your design,-- --Mind, it's no wish of mine,--
Is,--(a penny will do't,)--by addressing a line
To Turner, Dry, Weipersyde, Rogers, and Pyne.
FOOTNOTES:
[17] See Appendix.
APPENDIX.[18]
Since penning this stanza, a learn'd Antiquary
Has put my poor Muse in no trifling quandary,
By writing an essay to prove that he knows a
Spot which, in truth, is The _real_ "Bermoothes,"
In the Mediterranean,--now called Lampedosa;
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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