The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and MarvelsIngoldsby, Thomas
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The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and Marvels
Ingoldsby, Thomas
English fiction -- 19th century; English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
She, poor sinner, Grows thinner and thinner,
Leaves off eating breakfast, and luncheon, and dinner,
Till you'd really suppose she could have nothing in her.--
One evening--'twas just as the clock struck eleven--
They saw she'd been sinking fast ever since seven,--
She breath'd one deep sigh, threw one look up to Heaven,
And all was o'er!-- Poor Therèse was no more--
She was gone!--the last breath that she managed to draw
Escaped in one half-utter'd word--'twas "St. Foix!"
* * * * *
Who can fly from himself? Bitter cares, when you feel 'em,
Are not cured by travel--as Horace says, "_Cœlum
Non animum mutant qui currunt trans mare!_"
It's climate, not mind, that by roaming men vary--
Remorse for temptation to which you have yielded, is
A shadow you can't sell as Peter Schlemil did his;
It haunts you for ever--in bed and at board,--
Ay, e'en in your dreams. And you can't find, it seems,
Any proof that a guilty man ever yet snored!
It is much if he slumbers at all, which but few,
--François Xavier Auguste was an instance--can do.
Indeed, from the time He committed the crime
Which cut off poor Sister Therèse in her prime,
He was not the same man that he had been--his plan
Was quite changed--in wild freaks he no more led the van;
He'd scarce sleep a wink in A week; but sit thinking,
From company shrinking-- He quite gave up drinking.
At the mess-table, too, where now seldom he came,
Fish, _fricassee_, _fricandeau_, _potage_, or game,
_Dindon aux truffes_, or _turbot à la crême_,
No!--he still shook his head,--it was always the same,
Still he never complained that the cook was to blame!
'Twas his appetite fail'd him--no matter how rare
And _recherché_ the dish, how delicious the fare,--
What he used to like best he no longer could bear;
But he'd there sit and stare With an air of despair:
Took no care, but would wear Boots that wanted repair;
Such a shirt too! you'd think he'd no linen to spare.
He omitted to shave;--he neglected his hair,
And looked more like a Guy than a gay Mousquetaire.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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