I've said she _began_ it,-- Some unlucky planet No doubt interfered,--for, before she, and Janet Completed the "cutting-out," "hemming," and "stitching," A tall Irish footman appear'd in the kitchen;-- --This took off the maid,-- And, I'm sadly afraid, My respected Aunt Fanny's attention, too, stray'd; For, about the same period, a gay son of Mars, Cornet Jones of the Tenth (then the Prince's) Hussars, With his fine dark eyelashes, And finer moustaches, And the ostrich plume work'd on the corps' sabre-taches, (I say nought of the gold-and-red cord of the sashes, Or the boots far above the Guards' vile spatterdashes,)-- So eyed, and so sigh'd, and so lovingly tried To engage her whole ear as he lounged by her side, Looking down on the rest with such dignified pride, That she made up her mind She should certainly find Cornet Jones at her feet, whisp'ring, "Fan, be my bride!"-- --She had even resolved to say "Yes" should he ask it, --And I--and my Shirt--were both left in the basket. To her grief and dismay She discover'd one day Cornet Jones of the Tenth was a little too gay; For, besides that she saw him--he could not say nay-- Wink at one of the actresses capering away In a Spanish _bolero_, one night at the play, She found he'd already a wife at Cambray;-- One at Paris,--a nymph of the _corps de ballet_;-- And a third down in Kent, at a place call'd Foot's Cray.-- He was "viler than dirt!"-- Fanny vow'd to exert All her powers to forget him,--and finish my Shirt. But, oh! lack-a-day! How time slips away!-- Who'd have thought that while Cupid was playing these tricks, Ten years had elapsed, and--I'd turn'd twenty-six?-- "I care not a whit, --He's not grown a bit," Says my Aunt, "it will still be a very good fit." So Janet, and She, Now about thirty-three, (The maid had been jilted by Mr. Magee,) Each taking one end of "the Shirt" on her knee, Again began working with hearty good will, "Felling the Seams," and "whipping the Frill,"-- For, twenty years since, though the Ruffle had vanish'd, A Frill like a fan had by no means been banish'd; People wore them at playhouses, parties, and churches, Like overgrown fins of overgrown perches.-- Now, then, by these two thus laying their caps Together, my "Shirt" had been finish'd, perhaps, But for one of those queer little three-corner'd straps, Which the ladies call "Side-bits," that sever the "Flaps;" --Here unlucky Janet Took her needle, and ran it Right into her thumb, and cried loudly, "Ads cuss it! I've spoiled myself now by that 'ere nasty Gusset!"