The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and MarvelsIngoldsby, Thomas
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The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and Marvels
Ingoldsby, Thomas
English fiction -- 19th century; English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
_To return to our muttons_--This mode of progression
At length upon Spanking Bill made some impression.
--"Hillo, messmate, what cheer?
How queer you _do_ steer!"
Cried Bill, whose short legs kept him still in the rear.
"Why, what's in the wind, Bo?--what is it you fear?"
For he saw in a moment that something was frightening
His shipmate much more than the thunder and lightning.
--"Fear?" stammer'd out Waters, "why, HIM!--don't you see
What faces that Drummer-boy's making at me!--
--How he dodges me so Wherever I go?--
What is it he wants with me, Bill,--do you know?"
--"What Drummer-boy, Harry?" cries Bill, in surprise,
(With a brief explanation, that ended in "eyes,")
"What Drummer-boy, Waters?--the coast is all clear,
We haven't got never no Drummer-boy here!"
--"Why, there!--don't you see How he's following me?
Now this way, now that way, and won't let me be!
Keep him off, Bill--look here-- Don't let him come near!
Only see how the blood-drops his features besmear!
What, the dead come to life again!--Bless me!--Oh dear!"
Bill remarked in reply, "This is all very queer--
What, a Drummer-boy--bloody, too--eh!--well, I never--
I can't see no Drummer-boy here whatsumdever!"
"Not see him!--why there;--look!--he's close by the post--
Hark!--hark!--how he drums at me now!--he's a Ghost!"
"A what?" return'd Bill,--at that moment a flash
More than commonly awful preceded a crash
Like what's call'd in Kentucky "an Almighty Smash."--
And down Harry Waters went plump on his knees,
While the sound, though prolong'd, died away by degrees;
In its last sinking echoes, however, were some
Which, Bill could not help thinking, resembled a drum!
"Hollo! Waters!--I says," Quoth he in amaze,
"Why, I never see'd _nuffin_ in all my born days
Half so queer As this here, And I'm not very clear
But that one of us two has good reason for fear--
You to jaw about drummers, with nobody near us!--
I must say as how that I thinks it's mysterus."
"Oh, mercy!" roared Waters, "do keep him off, Bill,
And, Andrew, forgive!--I'll confess all!--I will!
[Illustration: THE DEAD DRUMMER.]
I'll make a clean breast, And as for the rest,
You may do with me just what the lawyers think best;
But haunt me not thus!--let these visitings cease,
And, your vengeance accomplish'd, Boy, leave me in peace!"
--Harry paused for a moment,--then turning to Bill,
Who stood with his mouth open, steady and still,
Began "spinning" what nauticals term "a tough yarn,"
Viz.: his tale of what Bill call'd "this precious _consarn_."
* * * * *
"It was in such an hour as this,
On such a wild and wint'ry day,
The forked lightning seemed to hiss,
As now, athwart our lonely way,
When first these dubious paths I tried--
_Yon livid form_ was by my side!--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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