The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and MarvelsIngoldsby, Thomas
General
The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and Marvels
Ingoldsby, Thomas
English fiction -- 19th century; English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
FOOTNOTES:
[2] I-run, is a town said to have been so named from something
of this sort.
[3] One of the uses to which this mystic chandelier was put,
was the protection of secreted treasure. Blow out all the fingers at
one puff and you had the money.
[4] Since the appearance of the first edition of this Legend
"the guns" have been dismounted. Rumour hints at some alarm on the part
of the Town Council.
[5] Subsequent to the first appearance of the foregoing
narrative, the tomb alluded to has been opened during the course of
certain repairs which the church has undergone. Mr. Simpkinson, who
was present at the exhumation of the body within, and has enriched his
collection with three of its grinders, says the bones of one of the
great toes were wanting. He speaks in terms of great admiration at the
thickness of the skull, and is of opinion that the skeleton is that of
a great patriot much addicted to Lundy-foot.
It is on my own personal reminiscences that I draw for the following
story; the scene of its leading event was most familiar to me in early
life. If the principal actor in it be yet living, he must have reached
a very advanced age. He was often at the Hall, in my infancy, on
professional visits. It is, however, only from those who "prated of his
whereabouts" that I learned the history of his adventure with
THE GHOST.
There stands a City,--neither large nor small,
Its air and situation sweet and pretty;
It matters very little--if at all--
Whether its denizens are dull or witty,
Whether the ladies there are short or tall,
Brunettes or blondes, only, there stands a city!--
Perhaps 'tis also requisite to minute
That there's a Castle and a Cobbler in it.
A fair Cathedral, too, the story goes,
And kings and heroes lie entomb'd within her;
There pious Saints, in marble pomp repose,
Whose shrines are worn by knees of many a Sinner;
There, too, full many an Aldermanic nose
Roll'd its loud diapason after dinner;
And there stood high the holy sconce of Becket,
--Till four assassins came from France to crack it.
The Castle was a huge and antique mound,
Proof against all th' artillery of the quiver,
Ere those abominable guns were found,
To send cold lead through gallant warrior's liver.
It stands upon a gently rising ground,
Sloping down gradually to the river,
Resembling (to compare great things with smaller)
A well-scooped, mouldy Stilton cheese,--but taller.
The keep, I find, 's been sadly alter'd lately,
And, 'stead of mail-clad knights, of honour jealous,
In martial panoply so grand and stately,
Its walls are filled with money-making fellows,
And stuff'd, unless I'm misinformed greatly,
With leaden pipes, and coke, and coals, and bellows;
In short, so great a change has come to pass,
'Tis now a manufactory of Gas.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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