The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and MarvelsIngoldsby, Thomas
General
The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and Marvels
Ingoldsby, Thomas
English fiction -- 19th century; English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
"Truly, I think so," returned the patient. "They are manifest asses;
but you, good Leech, you are a horse of another colour. The world talks
loudly of your learning, your skill, and cunning in arts the most
abstruse; nay, sooth to say, some look coldly on you therefore, and
stickle not to aver that you are cater-cousin with Beelzebub himself."
"It is ever the fate of science," murmured the professor, "to be
maligned by the ignorant and superstitious. But a truce with such
folly; let me examine your palate."
Master Marsh thrust out a tongue long, clear, and red as beetroot.
"There is nothing wrong there," said the Leech. "Your wrist:--no;--the
pulse is firm and regular, the skin cool and temperate. Sir, there is
nothing the matter with you!"
"Nothing the matter with me, Sir 'Potecary?--But I tell you there is
the matter with me,--much the matter with me. Why is it that something
seems ever gnawing at my heart-strings?--Whence this pain in the region
of the liver?--Why is it that I sleep not o' nights,--rest not o' days?
Why?"
"You are fidgety, Master Marsh," said the doctor.
Master Marsh's brow grew dark; he half rose from his seat, supported
himself by both hands on the arms of his elbow-chair, and in accents of
mingled anger and astonishment repeated the word "Fidgety!"
"Ay, fidgety," returned the doctor calmly. "Tut, man, there is nought
ails thee save thine own overweening fancies. Take less of food, more
air, put aside thy flagon, call for thy horse; be boot and saddle the
word! Why,--hast thou not youth?--"
"I have," said the patient.
"Wealth and a fair domain?"
"Granted," quoth Marsh cheerily.
"And a fair wife?"
"Yea," was the response, but in a tone something less satisfied.
"Then arouse thee, man, shake off this fantasy, betake thyself to thy
lawful occasions,--use thy good hap,--follow thy pleasures, and think
no more of these fancied ailments."
"But I tell you, master mine, these ailments are not fancied. I lose my
rest, I loathe my food, my doublet sits loosely on me,--these racking
pains. My wife, too,--when I meet her gaze, the cold sweat stands on
my forehead, and I could almost think--" Marsh paused abruptly, mused
awhile, then added, looking steadily at his visitor, "These things are
not right; they pass the common, Master Erasmus Buckthorne."
A slight shade crossed the brow of the Leech, but its passage was
momentary; his features softened to a smile, in which pity seemed
slightly blended with contempt. "Have done with such follies, Master
Marsh. You are well, an you would but think so. Ride, I say, hunt,
shoot, do anything,--disperse these melancholic humours, and become
yourself again."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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