The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and MarvelsIngoldsby, Thomas
General
The Ingoldsby Legends; or, Mirth and Marvels
Ingoldsby, Thomas
English fiction -- 19th century; English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
The When,--the Where,--and the How,--of the succeeding narrative
speak for themselves. It may be proper, however, to observe, that the
ruins here alluded to, and improperly termed "the Abbey," are not
those of Bolsover, described in a preceding page, but the remains
of a Preceptory once belonging to the Knights Templars, situate
near Swynfield, Swinkefield, or, as it is now generally spelt and
pronounced, Swingfield, Minnis, a rough tract of common land now
undergoing the process of enclosure, and adjoining the woods and arable
lands of Tappington, at the distance of some two miles from the Hall,
to the South-eastern windows of which the time-worn walls in question,
as seen over the intervening coppices, present a picturesque and
striking object.
THE WITCHES' FROLIC.
[Scene, the "Snuggery" at Tappington.--Grandpapa in a high-backed
cane-bottomed elbow-chair of carved walnut-tree, dozing; his nose
at an angle of forty-five degrees,--his thumbs slowly perform the
rotatory motion described by lexicographers as "twiddling."--The "Hope
of the family" astride on a walking-stick, with burnt-cork mustachios,
and a pheasant's tail pinned in his cap, solaceth himself with martial
music.--Roused by a strain of surpassing dissonance, Grandpapa
_loquitur_.]
Come hither, come hither, my little boy Ned!
Come hither unto my knee--
I cannot away with that horrible din,
That sixpenny drum, and that trumpet of tin.
Oh, better to wander frank and free
Through the Fair of good Saint Bartlemy,
Than list to such awful minstrelsie.
Now lay, little Ned, those nuisances by,
And I'll rede ye a lay of Grammarye.
[Grandpapa riseth, yawneth like the crater of an extinct volcano,
proceedeth slowly to the window, and apostrophiseth the Abbey in the
distance.]
I love thy tower, Grey Ruin,
I joy thy form to see,
Though reft of all, Cell, cloister, and hall,
Nothing is left save a tottering wall
That, awfully grand and darkly dull,
Threaten'd to fall and demolish my skull,
As, ages ago, I wander'd along
Careless thy grass-grown courts among,
In sky-blue jacket, and trowsers laced,
The latter uncommonly short in the waist.
Thou art dearer to me, thou Ruin grey,
Than the Squire's verandah over the way;
And fairer, I ween, The ivy sheen
That thy mouldering turret binds,
Than the Alderman's house about half a mile off,
With the green Venetian blinds.
Full many a tale would my Grandam tell,
In many a bygone day,
Of darksome deeds, which of old befell
In thee, thou Ruin grey!
And I the readiest ear would lend,
And stare like frighten'd pig!
While my Grandfather's hair would have stood up on end,
Had he not worn a wig.
One tale I remember of mickle dread--
Now lithe and listen, my little boy Ned!
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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