The Inside of the Cup — CompleteChurchill, Winston
Science
The Inside of the Cup — Complete
Churchill, Winston
Attitude change -- Fiction; Christian ethics -- Fiction; Christian life -- Fiction; Conscience -- Religious aspects -- Fiction
“I can only tell you what he has told me, which is all I
know--authoritatively,” Hodder replied. How could he say to her that her
father had ruined Mr. Bentley? Indeed, with a woman of her fearlessness
and honesty--and above all, her intuition,--he felt the cruelty of his
position keenly. Hodder did not relish half truths; and he felt that,
however scant his intercourse in the future might be with Alison Parr,
he would have liked to have kept it on that basis of frankness in which
it had begun. But the exact stage of disillusionment she had reached in
regard to Eldon Parr was unknown to him, and he feared that a further
revelation might possibly sever the already precarious tie between
father and daughter.
He recounted, therefore, that Mr. Bentley had failed; and how he had
before that given much of his estate away in charity, how he had been
unable to keep his pew in St. John's, and had retired to the house in
Dalton Street.
For some moments after he had finished Alison did not reply.
“What is his number in Dalton Street?” she asked.
Hodder informed her.
He could not read in her face whether she suspected that he could have
told her more. And in spite of an inordinate, human joy in being again
in her presence, his desire to hide from her that which had taken
place within him, and the inability he felt to read his future, were
instinctive: the more so because of the very spontaneity they had
achieved at their first meeting. As a man, he shrank from confessing
to her, however indirectly, the fact that she herself was so vital an
element in his disillusionment. For the conversation in the garden had
been the immediate cause of the inner ferment ending in his resolution
to go away, and had directed him, by logical steps, to the encounter in
the church with Mrs. Garvin.
“You have not yet finished the garden?” he asked. “I imagined you back
in the East by this time.”
“Oh, I am procrastinating,” she replied. “It is a fit of sheer laziness.
I ought to be elsewhere, but I was born without a conscience. If I had
one I should try to quiet it by reminding it that I am fulfilling a
long-delayed promise--I am making a garden for Mrs. Larrabbee. You know
her, of course, since she is a member of your congregation.”
“Yes, I know her,” he assented. And his mind was suddenly filled with
vivid colour,--cobalt seas, and arsenic-green spruces with purple cones,
cardinal-striped awnings that rattled in the salt breeze, and he saw
once more the panorama of the life which had passed from him and the
woman in the midst of it. And his overwhelming thought was of relief
that he had somehow escaped. In spite of his unhappiness now, he would
not have gone back. He realized for the first time that he had been
nearer annihilation then than to-day.
“Grace isn't here to bother me with the ideas she has picked up in
Europe and catalogued,” Alison continued.
“Catalogued!” Hodder exclaimed, struck by the pertinency of the word.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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