The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Olaudah Equiano, Or Gustavus Vassa, The African: Written By HimselfEquiano, Olaudah
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The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Olaudah Equiano, Or Gustavus Vassa, The African: Written By Himself
Equiano, Olaudah
Enslaved persons -- Great Britain -- Biography; Enslaved persons -- United States -- Biography; Equiano, Olaudah, 1745-1797
In process of time I left my master, Doctor Irving, the purifier of
waters, and lodged in Coventry-court, Haymarket, where I was
continually oppressed and much concerned about the salvation of my
soul, and was determined (in my own strength) to be a first-rate
Christian. I used every means for this purpose; and, not being able to
find any person amongst my acquaintance that agreed with me in point
of religion, or, in scripture language, 'that would shew me any good;'
I was much dejected, and knew not where to seek relief; however, I
first frequented the neighbouring churches, St. James's, and others,
two or three times a day, for many weeks: still I came away
dissatisfied; something was wanting that I could not obtain, and I
really found more heartfelt relief in reading my bible at home than in
attending the church; and, being resolved to be saved, I pursued other
methods still. First I went among the quakers, where the word of God
was neither read or preached, so that I remained as much in the dark
as ever. I then searched into the Roman catholic principles, but was
not in the least satisfied. At length I had recourse to the Jews,
which availed me nothing, for the fear of eternity daily harassed my
mind, and I knew not where to seek shelter from the wrath to come.
However this was my conclusion, at all events, to read the four
evangelists, and whatever sect or party I found adhering thereto such
I would join. Thus I went on heavily without any guide to direct me
the way that leadeth to eternal life. I asked different people
questions about the manner of going to heaven, and was told different
ways. Here I was much staggered, and could not find any at that time
more righteous than myself, or indeed so much inclined to devotion. I
thought we should not all be saved (this is agreeable to the holy
scriptures), nor would all be damned. I found none among the circle of
my acquaintance that kept wholly the ten commandments. So righteous
was I in my own eyes, that I was convinced I excelled many of them in
that point, by keeping eight out of ten; and finding those who in
general termed themselves Christians not so honest or so good in their
morals as the Turks, I really thought the Turks were in a safer way of
salvation than my neighbours: so that between hopes and fears I went
on, and the chief comforts I enjoyed were in the musical French horn,
which I then practised, and also dressing of hair. Such was my
situation some months, experiencing the dishonesty of many people
here. I determined at last to set out for Turkey, and there to end my
days. It was now early in the spring 1774. I sought for a master, and
found a captain John Hughes, commander of a ship called Anglicania,
fitting out in the river Thames, and bound to Smyrna in Turkey. I
shipped myself with him as a steward; at the same time I recommended
to him a very clever black man, John Annis, as a cook. This man was on
board the ship near two months doing his duty: he had formerly lived
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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