The International Magazine, Volume 4, No. 5, December 1851Various
History
The International Magazine, Volume 4, No. 5, December 1851
Various
Art, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- History -- Periodicals
At these words I burst into tears, and poured forth again all my former
oaths, and which, considering our long attachment and my advanced age,
it was no longer difficult to keep.
"I know," said she, "you will never give your name to another woman;
I feel sure of that. What I wish is, that you should retire to your
estate in Dauphiné, and there, in peace and tranquillity, end your days
where your father and mother died and are buried; and, that you may
have no inducement to remain in Paris or ever return to it, sell your
house; and then, having no interest in the capital, you will find it
the more easy to perform what I have now requested, and what I feel
assured you will promise me to do."
I promised all she required; and in so doing it appeared to me that I
was adopting the wisest and most prudent course. There was, moreover,
in the idea of going to die amidst the tombs of my ancestors and of
mingling my ashes with theirs, a feeling of piety which melted me to
tears. Eugenie, once feeling assured that her last wishes would be
obeyed, asked for the attendance of a priest, and died with the same
courage and composure as had marked her whole life.
"Sir," said her confessor to me, "God is just and merciful. He pardons
the repentant sinner--your wife is a saint in heaven."
I will not attempt to describe my grief, my despair, and the state of
utter loneliness into which this sad bereavement plunged me: I have
other matters to talk of. When Eugenie was no more I had no longer any
will but my own to consult; and though deeply regretting the absence
of that sway I had been so long accustomed to, I nevertheless followed
inclinations which were no longer controlled. It was a feeling of piety
which had first made me promise to retire into Dauphiné, and it was
now a similar feeling which determined me to remain where I was. Why
should I go and die amidst ancestral tombs? Why make it a point of duty
to mix my ashes with theirs? I lost my father when I was a mere child;
I scarcely remembered him; and I had lived very little with my mother,
whereas, my whole life had been spent with Eugenie. It was therefore
near her that I ought to end my days, and in her grave that I ought to
find my final resting place; nor could I understand how it was that she
had not expressed a wish to that effect, and I persuaded myself that if
she could now see me she would approve of the change in my resolution.
When I had once made up my mind to remain in Paris, it was no longer
requisite or convenient to sell my house; and to tell you the truth,
I was very desirous to keep it. I had inhabited it from my youth; I
had improved and embellished it, and it recalled to my remembrance the
only woman that I had ever sincerely loved. My whole life had been
spent in it; in it had been acted the whole drama of my existence, and
there was not a corner nor a piece of furniture in it which did not
awaken some thought or recollection. I resolved then to live and die
in Paris.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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