The International Monthly, Volume 3, No. 1, April, 1851Various
History
The International Monthly, Volume 3, No. 1, April, 1851
Various
Art, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- History -- Periodicals
strongest desires, the most overpowering impulses of my heart; and
neither you nor any one could expect me to resist it. But there is yet a
stronger still--not an impulse, but a passion, and to that every thing
must yield. It is love; and whatever may be the difference which you see
between yourself and me, however inferior I may feel myself to you in
all those qualities which I myself the most admire, still, I feel myself
justified in placing the case clearly before you--in telling you how
truly, how sincerely, how ardently I love you, and in asking you whether
you will deign to favor my suit even now as I stand, to save me the pain
and grief of contending with the father of her I love, the anguish of
stripping him of the property he so well uses, and of the rank which he
adorns; or will leave me to establish my rights, to take my just name
and station, and then, when no longer appearing humble and unknown, to
plead my cause with no less humility than I do at present.
"That I shall do so then, as now, rest assured--that I would do so if
the rank and station to which I have a right were a principality, do not
doubt; but I would fain, if it were possible, avoid inflicting any pain
upon your father. I know not how he may bear the loss of station and of
fortune--I know not what effect the struggles of a court of law, and
inevitable defeat may produce. Only acquainted with him by general
repute, I cannot tell what may be the effect of mortification and the
loss of all he has hitherto enjoyed. He has the reputation of a good, a
just, and a wise man, somewhat vehement in feeling, somewhat proud of
his position. You must judge him, rather than I; but, I beseech you,
consider him in this matter.
"At any time, and at all times, my love will be the same--nothing can
change me--nothing can alter or affect the deep love I bear you. When
casting from me the cloud which had hung upon my birth, when assuming
the rank and taking possession of the property that is my own, I shall
still love you as devotedly as ever--still as earnestly seek your hand.
But oh! how I long to avoid all the pangs, the mischances, the anxieties
to every one, the ill feeling, the contention, the animosity, which must
ever follow such a struggle as that between your father and myself--oh,
how I long to owe every thing to you, even the station, even the
property, even the fair name that is my own by right! Nay, more, far
more, to owe you guidance and direction--to owe you support and
instruction--to owe you all that may improve, and purify, and elevate
me.
"Oh, Emily, dear cousin, let me be your debtor in all things. You who
first gave me the thought of rising above fate, and making myself worthy
of the high fortunes which I have long known awaited me, perfect your
work, redeem me for ever from all that is unworthy, save me from bitter
regrets, and your father from disappointment, sorrow, and poverty, and
render me all that I long to be.
"Yours, and forever,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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