The International Monthly, Volume 3, No. 1, April, 1851Various
History
The International Monthly, Volume 3, No. 1, April, 1851
Various
Art, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- History -- Periodicals
I have heard it said, that, when any strange, supernatural, and
necromantic adventure has occurred to a human being, that being, however
desirous he may be to conceal the same, feels at certain periods torn
up, as it were, by an intellectual earthquake, and is forced to bare the
inner depths of his spirit to another. I am a witness of the truth of
this. I have dearly sworn to myself never to reveal to human ears the
horrors to which I once, in excess of fiendly pride, delivered myself
over. The holy man who heard my confession, and reconciled me to the
church, is dead. None knows that once--
Why should it not be thus? Why tell a tale of impious tempting of
Providence, and soul-subduing humiliation? Why? answer me, ye who are
wise in the secrets of human nature! I only know that so it is; and in
spite of strong resolves--of a pride that too much masters me--of shame,
and even of fear, so to render myself odious to my species--I must
speak.
Genoa! my birthplace--proud city! looking upon the blue waves of the
Mediterranean sea--dost thou remember me in my boyhood, when thy cliffs
and promontories, thy bright sky and gay vineyards, were my world? Happy
time! when to the young heart the narrow-bounded universe, which leaves,
by its very limitation, free scope to the imagination, enchains our
physical energies, and, sole period in our lives, innocence and
enjoyment are united. Yet, who can look back to childhood, and not
remember its sorrows and its harrowing fears? I was born with the most
imperious, haughty, tameless spirit, with which ever mortal was gifted.
I quailed before my father only; and he, generous and noble, but
capricious and tyrannical, at once fostered and checked the wild
impetuosity of my character, making obedience necessary, but inspiring
no respect for the motives which guided his commands. To be a man, free,
independent; or, in better words, insolent and domineering, was the hope
and prayer of my rebel heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account