The International Monthly, Volume 4, No. 1, August, 1851Various
History
The International Monthly, Volume 4, No. 1, August, 1851
Various
Art, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- History -- Periodicals
"You need not doubt him, Sir John," said the clergyman; "for he is
very discreet. As for me, I will promise, and will keep my word; for I
see not what good it could be to reveal it to any body if you dislike
it. You will be more tenderly nursed here, I am sure, than you would
be by unprincipled, dissolute servants, and since your poor mother's
death--"
John Ayliffe groaned heavily, and the clergyman stopped. The next
moment, however, the young man said, "Then you do promise, do you?"
"I do," replied Mr. Dixwell. "I will not at all reveal the facts
without your consent."
"Well, then, sit down, and let us be alone together for a bit," said
John Ayliffe, and Mrs. Best quietly quitted the room and shut the
door.
John Ayliffe turned his languid eyes anxiously upon the clergyman,
saying, "I think I am dying, Mr. Dixwell."
He would fain have had a contradiction or even a ray of earthly hope;
but he got none; for it was evident to the eyes of Mr. Dixwell,
accustomed as he had been for many years to attend by the bed of
sickness and see the last spark of life go out, that John Ayliffe was
a dying man--that he might live hours, nay days; but that the
irrevocable summons had been given, that he was within the shadow of
the arch, and must pass through!
"I am afraid you are, Sir John," he replied, "but I trust that God
will still afford you time to make preparation for the great change
about to take place, and by his grace I will help you to the utmost in
my power."
John Ayliffe was silent, and closed his eyes again. Nor was he the
first to speak; for after having waited for several minutes, Mr.
Dixwell resumed, saying in a grave but kindly tone, "I am afraid, Sir
John, you have not hitherto given much thought to the subject which is
now so sadly fixed upon you. We must make haste, my good sir; we must
not lose a moment."
"Then do you think I am going to die so soon?" asked the young man
with a look of horror; for it cost him a hard and terrible struggle to
bring his mind to grasp the thought of death being inevitable and nigh
at hand. He could hardly conceive it--he could hardly believe it--that
he who had so lately been full of life and health, who had been
scheming schemes, and laying out plans, and had looked upon futurity
as a certain possession--that he was to die in a few short hours; but
whenever the wilful heart would have rebelled against the sentence,
and struggle to resist it, sensations which he had never felt before,
told him in a voice not to be mistaken, "It must be so!"
"No one can tell," replied Mr. Dixwell, "how soon it may be, or how
long God may spare you; but one thing is certain, Sir John, that years
with you have now dwindled down into days, and that days may very
likely be shortened to hours. But had you still years to live, I
should say the same thing, that no time is to be lost; too much has
been lost already."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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