The International Monthly, Volume 4, No. 2, September, 1851Various
History
The International Monthly, Volume 4, No. 2, September, 1851
Various
Art, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- History -- Periodicals
At the moment I now speak of there was an open letter on the table,
written in his daughter's hand, and after having walked up and down
for more than one hour, he sat down as if to answer it. We must look
over his shoulder and see what he writes, as it may in some degree
tend to show the state of his mind, although it was never sent.
"MY CHILD" (it was so he addressed the dear girl who had once been the
joy of his heart): "The news which has been communicated to you by
Marlow has been communicated also to me, but has given small relief.
The world is a prison, and it is not very satisfactory to leave one
dungeon to go into a larger.
"Nevertheless, I am desirous of returning to my own house. Your mother
is very ill, with nobody to attend upon her but yourself--at least no
kindred. This situation does not please me. Can I be satisfied that
she will be well and properly cared for? Will a daughter who has
betrayed her father show more piety towards a mother? Who is there
that man can trust?"
He was going on in the same strain, and his thoughts becoming more
excited, his language more stern and bitter every moment, when
suddenly he paused, read over the lines he had written with a
gleaming eye, and then bent his head, and fell into thought. No one
can tell, no pen can describe the bitter agony of his heart at that
moment. Had he yielded to the impulse--had he spoken ever so
vehemently and fiercely, it would have been happier for him and for
all. But men will see without knowing it in passing through the world,
conventional notions which they adopt as principles. They fancy them
original thoughts, springing from their own convictions, when in
reality they are bents--biases given to their minds by the minds of
other men. The result is very frequently painful, even where the
tendency of the views received is good. Thus a shrub forced out of its
natural direction may take a more graceful or beautiful form, but
there is ever a danger that the flow of the sap may be stopped, or
some of the branches injured by the process.
"No," said Sir Philip Hastings, at length, with a false sense of
dignity thus acquired, "no, it is beneath me to reproach her. Punish
her I might, and perhaps I ought; for the deed itself is an offence to
society and to human nature more than to me. To punish her would have
been a duty, even if my own heart's blood had flowed at the same time,
in those ancient days of purer laws and higher principles; but I will
not reproach without punishing. I will be silent. I will say nothing.
I will leave her to her own conscience," and tearing the letter he had
commenced to atoms, he resumed his bitter walk about the room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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