The International Monthly, Volume 4, No. 3, October, 1851Various
History
The International Monthly, Volume 4, No. 3, October, 1851
Various
Art, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Science -- History -- Periodicals
I need not pause here to show how conscience affects those who, however
guilty, have a higher sense--those who have a cloudy belief in a future
state--who acknowledge in their own hearts a God of justice--who look to
judgment, and feel that there must be an immortality of weal or woe. Mrs.
Hazleton was of the former class. The grave was a barrier to her sight,
beyond which there was no seeing. She had been brought up for this world,
lived in this world, thought, devised, schemed, plotted for this world. She
never thought of another world at all. She went to church regularly every
Sunday, read the prayers with every appearance of devotion, even listened
to the sermon if the preacher preached well, and went home more practically
atheist than many who have professed themselves so.
What were her thoughts, then, now? They were all earthly still. Even
conscience spoke to her in earthly language, as if there were no other
means of reaching her heart but that. Its very menaces were all earthly.
She reviewed her conduct for the last two or three years, and bitterly
reproached herself for several faults she discovered therein--faults of
contrivance, of design, of execution. She had made mistakes; and for a time
she gave herself up to bitter repentance for that great crime.
"Caught in my own trap," she said; "frustrated by a girl--a child!--ay! and
with exposure, perhaps punishment, before me. How she triumphs, doubtless,
in that little malignant heart. How she will triumph when she brings
forward her proofs, and overwhelms me with them--if she has them. Oh, yes,
she has them! She is mighty careful never to say any thing of which she is
not certain. I have remarked that in her from a child. She has them beyond
doubt, and now she is sitting anticipating the pleasure of crushing
me--enjoying the retrospect of my frustrated endeavors--thinking how she
and Marlow will laugh together over a whole list of attempts that have
failed, and purposes that I have not been able to execute. Yes, yes, they
will laugh loud and gaily, and at the very altar, perhaps, will think with
triumph that they are filling for me the last drop of scorn and
disappointment. Never, never, never! It shall never be. That is the only
way, methinks;" and she fell into dark and silent thought again.
The fit lasted some time, and then she spoke again, muttering the words
between her teeth as she had previously done. "They will never marry with a
mother's curse upon their union! Oh, no, no, I know her too well. She will
not do that. That weak poppet may die before she recalls her
opposition--must die--and then they will live on loving and wretched. But
it must be made as bitter as possible. It must not stop there."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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