a “concealing recollection” for my subsequent love of books.[AR] Of
course I also learned at an early age that our passions are often our
sorrows. When I was seventeen years old I had a very respectable bill at
the book store, and no means with which to pay it, and my father would
hardly accept the excuse that my inclination had not been fixed on
something worse. But the mention of this later youthful experience
immediately brings me back to my conversation that evening with my
friend Dr. Koenigstein. For the talk on the evening of the dream-day
brought up the same old reproach that I am too fond of my hobbies.
For reasons which do not belong here, I shall not continue the
interpretation of this dream, but shall simply indicate the path which
leads to it. In the course of the interpretation, I was reminded of my
conversation with Dr. Koenigstein, and indeed of more than one portion
of it. If I consider the subjects touched upon in this conversation, the
meaning of the dream becomes clear to me. All the thought associations
which have been started, about the hobbies of my wife and of myself,
about the cocaine, about the difficulty of securing medical treatment
from one’s colleagues, my preference for monographic studies, and my
neglect of certain subjects such as botany—all this continues and
connects with some branch of this widely ramified conversation. The
dream again takes on the character of a justification, of a pleading for
my rights, like the first analysed dream of Irma’s injection; it even
continues the theme which that dream started, and discusses it with the
new subject matter which has accrued in the interval between the two
dreams. Even the apparently indifferent manner of expression of the
dream receives new importance. The meaning is now: “I am indeed the man
who has written that valuable and successful treatise (on cocaine),”
just as at that time I asserted for my justification: “I am a thorough
and industrious student;” in both cases, then: “I can afford to do
that.” But I may dispense with the further interpretation of the dream,
because my only purpose in reporting it was to examine the relation of
the dream content to the experience of the previous day which arouses
it. As long as I know only the manifest content of this dream, but one
relation to a day impression becomes obvious; after I have made the
interpretation, a second source of the dream becomes evident in another
experience of the same day. The first of these impressions to which the
dream refers is an indifferent one, a subordinate circumstance. I see a
book in a shop window whose title holds me for a moment, and whose
contents could hardly interest me. The second experience has great
psychic value; I have talked earnestly with my friend, the eye
specialist, for about an hour, I have made allusions in this
conversation which must have touched both of us closely, and which
awakened memories revealing the most diverse feelings of my inner self.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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