It was during my last journey to Italy, which, among other places, took
me past Lake Trasimenus, that I at last found what re-enforcement my
longing for the Eternal City had received from the impressions of my
youth; this was after I had seen the Tiber, and had turned back with
painful emotions when I was within eighty kilometers of Rome. I was just
broaching the plan of travelling to Naples via Rome the next year, when
this sentence, which I must have read in one of our classical authors,
occurred to me: “It is a question which of the two paced up and down in
his room the more impatiently after he had made the plan to go to
Rome—Assistant-Headmaster Winckelman or the great general Hannibal.” I
myself had walked in Hannibal’s footsteps; like him I was destined never
to see Rome, and he too had gone to Campania after the whole world had
expected him in Rome. Hannibal, with whom I had reached this point of
similarity, had been my favourite hero during my years at the Gymnasium;
like so many boys of my age, I bestowed my sympathies during the Punic
war, not on the Romans, but on the Carthaginians. Then, when I came
finally to understand the consequences of belonging to an alien race,
and was forced by the anti-semitic sentiment among my class-mates to
assume a definite attitude, the figure of the semitic commander assumed
still greater proportions in my eyes. Hannibal and Rome symbolised for
me as a youth the antithesis between the tenaciousness of the Jews and
the organisation of the Catholic Church. The significance for our
emotional life which the anti-semitic movement has since assumed helped
to fix the thoughts and impressions of that earlier time. Thus the wish
to get to Rome has become the cover and symbol in my dream-life for
several warmly cherished wishes, for the realisation of which one might
work with the perseverance and single-mindedness of the Punic general,
and whose fulfilment sometimes seems as little favoured by fortune as
the wish of Hannibal’s life to enter Rome.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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