This conjecture is reaffirmed with a certainty that makes doubt
impossible in its application to psychoneurotics through the analyses
that have been undertaken with them. It is here found that the sexual
wishes of the child—in so far as they deserve this designation in their
embryonic state—awaken at a very early period, and that the first
inclinations of the girl are directed towards the father, and the first
childish cravings of the boy towards the mother. The father thus becomes
an annoying competitor for the boy, as the mother does for the girl, and
we have already shown in the case of brothers and sisters how little it
takes for this feeling to lead the child to the death-wish. Sexual
selection, as a rule, early becomes evident in the parents; it is a
natural tendency for the father to indulge the little daughter, and for
the mother to take the part of the sons, while both work earnestly for
the education of the little ones when the magic of sex does not
prejudice their judgment. The child is very well aware of any
partiality, and resists that member of the parental couple who
discourages it. To find love in a grown-up person is for the child not
only the satisfaction of a particular craving, but also means that the
child’s will is to be yielded to in other respects. Thus the child obeys
its own sexual impulse, and at the same time re-enforces the feeling
which proceeds from the parents, if it makes a selection among the
parents that corresponds to theirs.
Most of the signs of these infantile inclinations are usually
overlooked; some of them may be observed even after the first years of
childhood. An eight-year-old girl of my acquaintance, when her mother is
called from the table, takes advantage of the opportunity to proclaim
herself her successor. “Now I shall be Mamma; Charles, do you want some
more vegetables? Have some, I beg you,” &c. A particularly gifted and
vivacious girl, not yet four years old, with whom this bit of child
psychology is unusually transparent, says outright: “Now mother can go
away; then father must marry me and I shall be his wife.” Nor does this
wish by any means exclude from child life the possibility that the child
may love his mother affectionately. If the little boy is allowed to
sleep at his mother’s side whenever his father goes on a journey, and if
after his father’s return he must go back to the nursery to a person
whom he likes far less, the wish may be easily actuated that his father
may always be absent, in order that he may keep his place next to his
dear, beautiful mamma; and the father’s death is obviously a means for
the attainment of this wish; for the child’s experience has taught him
that “dead” folks, like grandpa, for example, are always absent; they
never return.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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