Female friendship -- Fiction; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Widows -- Fiction
'That's putting it very baldly. A little bit more, perhaps.'
How much more she did not tell him. She said nothing of Fricker, nothing
of ruin; and no rumours had reached Danes Inn. He saw that her vanity
was wounded, he guessed that perhaps her affections might be; but he
treated her still as the well-off fashionable woman who for a whim came
to visit his poor lodgings, just as she still treated him as the
poverty-stricken man who might advise others well or ill, but anyhow
made little enough out of the world for himself.
'Well, you seem quite happy without these vanities,' she said. 'Why
shouldn't I be?' She leant back and seemed to look at him with a
grateful sense of peace and quiet. 'And you don't abuse me! You must
know I've been very bad, but you greet me like a friend.'
'Your badness is nothing to me, if you have been bad.'
'Is that indifference--or fidelity?' she asked, lightly still, but with
a rather anxious expression in her eyes.
For a moment he was silent, staring out of his big window into the big
window opposite. In the end he did not answer her question, but put one
in his turn:--
'So you hold me responsible?'
There must have been something more than raillery in her original
charge, for when he put his question gravely she answered it in a like
way.
'You touched some impulse in me that hadn't been touched before. Of
course you didn't mean to do it. You didn't know the sort of person you
were talking to. But I thought over what you said, and it chimed in with
something in me. So I went and--and had my fling.'
'Ah!' he murmured vaguely, but he turned now and looked at her.
She had meant to give him no confidence, but he drew it from her.
'I've been very unhappy,' she confessed. 'I was very unhappy a good deal
of the time, even when I was prosperous. And I've--I've told a lot of
lies.'
The blunt statement wrung a passing smile from him.
'And if I'd gone on I must have told many more.'
'My responsibility is evidently heavy.' He paused, and then added,
'There are a good many things that make one lie.'
'Not in Danes Inn?' She laughed a little.
'Yes, even in Danes Inn,' said he, frowning.
'I don't think so, and I'm glad to be here,' she said. 'And some day,
when I've more courage, I'll make a full confession and ask you to be
friends still. I often thought about you and Peggy and the rest.'
He had begun to smoke, and did not look at her again till the long
silence that followed her last words caught his attention. When he
turned, she sat looking straight in front of her; he saw that her eyes
were full of tears. He put down his pipe and came slowly over to her.
'It's been a bit worse than you've told me, Mrs. Trevalla?' he
suggested.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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