He drank up the dregs of the wine still left in the bottle, and when he had finished it he said, _"Akh! pardon,_ maybe _you_ wanted some more. It was horribly careless of me. However, I suppose I must have taken too much, and my head isn't very strong.[21] There was a time when I lived on Morskaia Street, _au rez-de-chaussée,_ and had marvellous apartments, furniture, you know, and I was able to arrange it all beautifully, not so very expensively though; my father, to be sure, gave me porcelains, flowers, and silver,--a wonderful lot. _Le matin je sortais,_ visits, _à 5 heures régulièrement._ I used to go and dine with _her;_ often she was alone. _Il faut avouer que c'était une femme ravissante!_ You didn't know her at all, did you?" "No." "You see, there was such a high degree of womanliness in her, and such tenderness, and what love! Lord! I did not know how to appreciate my happiness then. We would return after the theatre, and have a little supper together. It was never dull where she was, _toujours gaie, toujours aimante._ Yes, and I had never imagined what rare happiness it was. _Et j'ai beaucoup à me reprocher_ in regard to her. _Je l'ai fait souffrir et souvent._ I was outrageous. _Akh!_ What a marvellous time that was! Do I bore you?" "No, not at all." "Then I will tell you about our evenings. I used to go--that stairway, every flower-pot I knew,--the door-handle, all was so lovely, so familiar; then the vestibule, her room ... No, it will never, never come back to me again! Even now she writes to me: if you will let me, I will show you her letters. But I am not what I was; I am ruined; I am no longer worthy of her.... Yes, I am ruined forever. _Je suis cassé._ There's no energy in me, no pride, nothing--nor even any rank.[22] ... Yes, I am ruined; and no one will ever appreciate my sufferings. Every one is indifferent. I am a lost man. Never any chance for me to rise, because I have fallen morally ... into the mire--I have fallen." ... At this moment there was evident in his words a genuine, deep despair: he did not look at me, but sat motionless. "Why are you in such despair?" I asked.