British Columbia -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Lumber trade -- Fiction
He kissed her. She rested against him a second or two, her eyes
shut, hot color flooding her smooth cheeks. Then abruptly she pushed
herself away, sat plucking with nervous fingers at the folds of cloth
across her knees.
"It doesn't lead there yet," she said shakily. "Perhaps not at all."
She rose to her feet. Rod followed up across the porch, cornered her
against the wall.
"You do love me?" he challenged.
"Yes."
"Then why don't you marry me?"
"Because I do love you, Rod," she whispered. "Can't you see? It
won't do. Oh, I can't explain. I haven't the words. But the
unanswerable logic of it is clear in my mind. I knew we'd come to
this. I've dreaded it. We can't go any farther. We'd both lose."
"That's not true. You know it isn't," he shook her roughly. "We're
both thoroughbreds. It isn't class that counts. It's character.
All the rest is just trimmings. If accident of birth made me a rich
man's son, is that any reason why I shouldn't make my own way and my
own place in the world if I have to choose between that and
conforming to class prejudice in so important a thing as picking a
wife? What sort of weak saphead do you think I am?"
"It's no good, Rod," she answered doggedly. "You simply don't
understand. You've never had any experience of poverty, of struggle,
of sordidness. You'd lose a lot that even money can't buy. And
after a while you'd begin to wonder if it were worth while. The
world well lost for love is a fine poetic fancy, but nothing more. I
tell you quite frankly I'm afraid of love. It brings pain. It
brings all sorts of bitter things to men and women, this mating
passion. I have an instinct about these things. I won't marry you.
I won't be carried away by any sort of feeling for you. I don't even
want to see you again. What's the use? Oh, what's the use of our
even thinking about it?"
She broke away from him with a wrench of her body. The door slammed
behind her. He heard the quick patter of her feet on the uncarpeted
floor. Then silence. Rod had a clairvoyant vision of her flinging
herself on her bed, of her shoulders shaking, of sobs strangled in
her throat. And he stood bewildered. What had seemed so simple had
become disastrously complex, bearing implications of grief and pain
and loneliness beyond his comprehension.
But there seemed a note of finality in that scene. He could not
break down her defences, tenuous as they were.
And so, his heart filled with a strange, heavy ache, Rod walked down
to his canoe and put out into the channel. Across the way the red
roof and gray gables of Hawk's Nest beckoned him home. Home,--where
there were no problems that could not be solved by the writing of a
check, Rod thought sardonically.
The inevitable reaction set in. A passionate resentment against Mary
Thorn began to burn in him. She was a fool, he said. He himself a
greater fool to abase himself before her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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