"Elizabeth!" he protested; "you are an angel, and I love you--no man
ever loved a woman as I love you."
In her abasement she never thought of reproaching him, of saying "if
you loved me, why did you betray me?" She had not gone as far as that
yet. Her fall had been so tremendous that if she had any feeling about
him, it was nothing more than the consciousness that he too, had gone
over the precipice. "Please go away," she said.
"Dearest, listen; you are my wife. If--if I hurried you too much, you
will forgive me because I loved you so? I didn't dare to wait, for
fear--" he stumbled on the confession which his god had wrung from him,
but which must not be made to her. Elizabeth's heavy eyes were suddenly
keen.
"Fear of what?"
"Oh, don't look at me that way! I love you so that it kills me to have
you angry at me!"
"I am not angry with you," she said, faintly surprised; "why should I
be angry with _you_? Only, you see, Blair, I--I can't live. I simply
can't live."
"You have got to live!--or I'll die," he said. "I love you, I tell you
I love you!" His outstretched, trembling hands entreated hers, but she
would not yield them to his touch; her shrinking movement away from
him, her hands gripped together at her throat, filled him with absolute
terror: "Elizabeth! _don't_--" She glanced at him with stony eyes.
Blair was suffering. Why should _he_ suffer? But his suffering did not
interest her. "Please go away," she said, heavily.
He went. He dared not stay. He left her, going miserably down-stairs to
make a pretense of eating some breakfast. But all the while he was
arranging entreaties and arguments in his own mind. He went to the door
of their room a dozen times that morning, but it was locked. No, she
did not want any breakfast. Wouldn't she come out and walk? No, no, no.
Please let her alone. And then in the afternoon; "Elizabeth, I _must_
come in! You must have some food."
She let him enter; but she was indifferent alike to the food and to the
fact that by this time there was, of course, a giggling consciousness
in the hotel that the "bride and groom had had a rumpus." ... "A nice
beginning for a honeymoon," said the chambermaid, "locking that pretty
young man out of her room!--and me with my work to do in there. Well,
I'm sorry for him; I bet you she's a case."
Blair, too, was indifferent to anything ridiculous in his position; the
moment was too critical for such self-consciousness. When at last he
took a little tray of food to his wife, and knelt beside her, begging
her to eat, he was appalled at the ruin in her face. She drank some tea
to please him; then she said, pitifully:
"What shall we do, Blair?" That she should say "we" showed that these
hours which had plowed her face had also sowed some seed of
unselfishness in her broken soul.
"Darling," he said, tenderly, "have you forgiven me?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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