Blair nodded. "Of course," he said. At which Nannie, who had been
crying softly to herself, suddenly looked up.
"I would rather be by myself. I don't want any one here. Please go home
with Elizabeth, Blair. Please!"
"But Nannie dear, I want to stay," Blair began, gently; she interrupted
him, almost hysterically:
"No! _Please!_ It troubles me. I would rather you didn't. I--I want to
be alone."
"Well," Blair said, vaguely; he was too dazed to protest.
Robert Ferguson yielded too, though with a little surprise at her
vehemence. Then he turned to Blair; "I'll give you some telegrams that
must be sent," he said, in the old friendly voice. It was only when he
wrote a despatch to David's mother that the world was suddenly adjusted
to its old levels of anger and contempt. "I'll send this myself," he
said, coldly. Blair, with instant intuition, replied as coldly, "Oh,
very well."
He and Elizabeth went back to the hotel in silence, each deeply shaken
by the mere physical fact of death. When they reached the gloomy
granite columns of the old River House, Blair left his wife, saying
briefly something about "walking for a while." He wanted to be alone.
This was not because he felt any lack of sympathy in Elizabeth; on the
contrary, he was nearer to her than at any time since their marriage;
but it was a moment that demanded solitude. So he wandered about
Mercer's streets by himself until after midnight--down to the old
covered bridge, past Mrs. Todd's ice-cream saloon, out into the
country, where the wind was rising, and the tree-tops had begun to sway
against the sky.
There is a bond, it appears, between mother and child which endures as
long as they do. It is independent of love; reason cannot weaken it;
hate cannot destroy it. When a man's mother dies, something in the man
dies, too. Blair Maitland, walking aimlessly about in the windy May
midnight, standing on the bridge watching the slipping twinkle of a
star in the inky ripples below him, was vaguely conscious of this. He
thought, with a reluctance that was almost repulsion, of her will. He
did not want to think of it, it was not fitting! Yet he knew, back in
his mind, that within a few days, as soon as decency permitted, he
would take the necessary steps to contest it. Nor did he think
definitely of her; certainly not of all the unbeautiful things about
her, those acute, incessant trivialities of ugliness which had been a
veil between them all his life. Now, the veil was rent, and behind it
was a holy of holies,--the inviolable relation of the child and the
mother. It was of this that he thought, inarticulately, as he stood on
the bridge, listening to the rush of the wind; this, and the bare and
unbelievable fact that she "was not." As he struggled to realize her
death, he was aware of a curious uneasiness that was almost fright.
When he came to Nannie the next morning, he was still deeply absorbed;
and when she put something into his hands and said it was from his
mother, he suddenly wept.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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