He was so goaded by this fancy of a dying woman, and at the same time
so shaken by her death, that, as his guest was quick to see, he was
entirely unreal; almost--if one can say such a thing of Robert
Ferguson, artificial. He was artificial when he spoke of David and the
money he was not to have; the fact was, he did not at that moment care,
he said to himself, a hang about David, or his money either!
"You see," he said, as they came to the green door in the brick wall,
and went into the other garden, "you see, your house is still empty?"
"Dear old house!" she said, smiling up at the shuttered windows.
He looked into her face, and its entire candor made him suddenly and
sharply angry at Sarah Maitland. It was the old friendly anger, just as
if she were not dead; and he found it curiously comforting. ("She ought
to be ashamed of herself to have such an idea of Mrs. Richie. I'll tell
her so--oh, Lord! what am I saying? Well, well; she was dying; she
didn't know what she was talking about.") . . . "We could pull down
some partitions and make the two houses into one," he said, wistfully.
But she only laughed and shook her head. "I want to see if my white
peony is going to blossom; come over to the stone seat."
"You always shut me up," he said, sulkily; and in his sulkiness he was
more like himself than he had been for days. Sitting by her side on the
bench under the hawthorn, he let her talk about her peony or anything
else that seemed to her a safe subject; for himself, all he wanted was
the comfort of looking into her comforting eyes, and telling himself
that he insulted her when he even denied those poor, foolish, dying
words. When a sudden soft shower drove them indoors to his library he
came back with a sigh to Mrs. Maitland; but this time he was quite
natural: "The queer part of it is, she hadn't changed her mind about
David's money up to within two days of her death. She meant him to have
it when she spoke to me of writing to him; and her mind was perfectly
clear then; at least"--he frowned; "she did wander for a minute. She
had a crazy idea--"
"What?" said Mrs. Richie, sympathetically.
"Nothing; she was wandering. But it was only for a minute, and except
for that she was clear. When I urged her to make some provision for
Blair, she was perfectly clear. Practically told me to mind my own
business! Just like her," he said, sighing.
"It would have been a great deal of money," Mrs. Richie said; "probably
David is better off without it." But he knew she was disappointed; and
indeed, after supper, in his library, she admitted the disappointment
frankly enough. "He has changed very much; his youth is all gone. He is
more silent than ever. I had thought that perhaps the building of this
hospital would bring him out of himself. You see, he blames himself for
the whole thing."
"He is still bitter?"
"Oh, I'm afraid so. He very rarely speaks of it. But I can see that he
blames himself always. I wish he would talk freely."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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