The Irrational Knot: Being the Second Novel of His NonageShaw, Bernard
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The Irrational Knot: Being the Second Novel of His Nonage
Shaw, Bernard
Marriage -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
“You should. It would give a fillip to your sermons. Let me send you a
case of champagne. Promise to drink a bottle every Sunday in the vestry
before you come out to preach, and I will take a pew for the season in
your church. Thats good of me, isnt it?”
“I must go,” said the Rev. George, rising, after hastily pretending to
look at his watch. “Will you excuse me?”
“Nonsense,” she said, rising also, and slipping her hand through his
arm to detain him. “Wait and have some luncheon. Why, Doctor, I really
think youre afraid of me. _Do_ stay.”
“Impossible. I have much business which I am bound——Pray, let me go,”
pleaded the clergyman, piteously, ineffectually struggling with
Susanna, who had now got his arm against her breast. “You must be mad!”
he cried, drops of sweat breaking out on his brow as he felt himself
being pulled helplessly toward the ottoman. She got her knee on it at
last; and he made a desperate effort to free himself.
“Oh, how rough you are!” she exclaimed in her softest voice, adroitly
tumbling into the seat as if he had thrown her down, and clinging to
his arms; so that it was as much as he could do to keep his feet as he
stooped over her, striving to get upright. At which supreme moment the
door was opened by Marmaduke, who halted on the threshold to survey the
two reproachfully for a moment. Then he said:
“George: I’m astonished at you. I have not much opinion of parsons as a
rule; but I really did think that _you_ were to be depended on.”
“Marmaduke,” said the clergyman, colouring furiously, and almost beside
himself with shame and anger: “you know perfectly well that I am
actuated in coming here by no motive unworthy of my profession. You
misunderstand what you have seen. I will not hear my calling made a
jest of.”
“Quite right, Doctor,” said Susanna, giving him a gentle pat of
encouragement on the shoulder. “Defend the cloth, always. I was only
asking him to stay to lunch, Bob. Cant you persuade him?”
“Do, old fellow,” said Marmaduke. “Come! you must: I havnt had a chat
with you for ever so long. I’m really awfully sorry I interrupted you.
What on earth did you make Susanna rig herself out like that for?”
“Hold your tongue, Bob. Mr. George has nothing to do with my being in
character. This is what came last night in the box: I could not resist
trying it on this morning. I am Zobeida, the light of the harem, if you
please. I must have your opinion of the rouge song, Doctor. Observe.
This is a powder puff: I suppose you never saw such a thing before. I
am making up my face for a visit of the Sultan; and I am apologizing to
the audience for using cosmetics. The original French is improper; so I
will give you the English version, by the celebrated Robinson, the
cleverest adapter of the day:
‘Poor odalisques in captive thrall
Must never let their charms pall:
If they get the sack
They ne’er come back;
For the Bosphorus is the boss for all
In this harem, harem, harem, harem, harum scarum place.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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