The Irrational Knot: Being the Second Novel of His NonageShaw, Bernard
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The Irrational Knot: Being the Second Novel of His Nonage
Shaw, Bernard
Marriage -- Fiction; Social classes -- Fiction
A noise in the room overhead: Susanna’s death chamber. Marian gave a
great start, and understood what Eliza meant by having “the life put
across in her.” She listened, painfully conscious of the beats of her
heart. The noise came again: a footstep, or a chair pushed back, or—she
was not certain what. Could Mrs. Myers be watching at the bedside? It
was not unlikely. Could Susanna be recovering—finding herself laid out
for dead, and making a struggle for life up there alone? That would be
inconvenient, undesirable: even Marian forgot just then to consider
that obvious view wrong and unfeeling; but, anyhow, she must go and
see, and, if necessary, help. She wished there were some one to keep
her company; but was ashamed to call Eliza; and she felt that she would
be as well by herself as with Mrs. Myers. There was nothing for it but
to take a candle and go alone. No repetition of the noise occurred to
daunt her afresh; and she reached the landing above almost reassured,
and thinking how odd it was that the idea of finding
somebody—Susanna—there, though it had come as a fear, was fading out as
a disappointed hope.
Finding herself loth to open the door, she at last set her teeth and
did it swiftly, as if to surprise someone within. She did surprise some
one: her husband, sitting by his sister’s body. He started violently on
seeing her, and rose; whilst she, mechanically shutting the door
without turning, leaned back against it with her hand behind her, and
looked at him open-mouthed.
“Marian,” he said, in a quite unexpectedly apprehensive tone, putting
up his hand deprecatingly: “remember, here”—indicating the figure on
the bed—“is an end of hypocrisy! No unrealities now: I cannot bear
them. Let us have no trash of magnanimous injured husband, erring but
repentant wife. We are man and woman, nothing less and nothing more.
After our marriage you declined intercourse on those terms; and I
accepted your conventions to please you. Now I refuse all conventions:
you have broken them yourself. If you will not have the truth between
us, avoid me until I have subsided into the old groove again. There!”
he added, wincing, “dont blush. What have you to blush for? It was the
only honest thing you ever did.”
“I dont understand.”
“No,” he said gently, but with a gesture of despair; “how could you?
You never did, and you never will.”
“If you mean to accuse me of having deceived you,” said Marian, greatly
relieved and encouraged by a sense of being now the injured party, “you
are most unjust. I dont excuse myself for behaving wickedly, but I
_never_ deceived you or told you a falsehood. Never. When he first
spoke wrongly to me, I told you at once; and you did not care.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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