England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Upper class -- England -- Fiction
A difference had come in their relations since that kiss; outwardly she
was the same good comrade, cool and quick. But as before a change one
feels the subtle difference in the temper of the wind, so Shelton
was affected by the inner change in her. He had made a blot upon her
candour; he had tried to rub it out again, but there was left a mark,
and it was ineffaceable. Antonia belonged to the most civilised division
of the race most civilised in all the world, whose creed is “Let us love
and hate, let us work and marry, but let us never give ourselves away;
to give ourselves away is to leave a mark, and that is past forgive
ness. Let our lives be like our faces, free from every kind of wrinkle,
even those of laughter; in this way alone can we be really civilised.”
He felt that she was ruffled by a vague discomfort. That he should give
himself away was natural, perhaps, and only made her wonder, but that he
should give her the feeling that she had given herself away was a very
different thing.
“Do you mind if I just ask at the Bishop's Head for letters?” he said,
as they passed the old hotel.
A dirty and thin envelope was brought to him, addressed “Mr. Richard
Shelton, Esq.,” in handwriting that was passionately clear, as though
the writer had put his soul into securing delivery of the letter. It was
dated three days back, and, as they rode away, Shelton read as follows:
IMPERIAL PEACOCK HOTEL,
FOLKESTONE.
MON CHER MONSIEUR SHELTON,
This is already the third time I have taken up pen to write to you, but,
having nothing but misfortune to recount, I hesitated, awaiting better
days. Indeed, I have been so profoundly discouraged that if I had not
thought it my duty to let you know of my fortunes I know not even now
if I should have found the necessary spirit. 'Les choses vont de mal
en mal'. From what I hear there has never been so bad a season here.
Nothing going on. All the same, I am tormented by a mob of little
matters which bring me not sufficient to support my life. I know not
what to do; one thing is certain, in no case shall I return here another
year. The patron of this hotel, my good employer, is one of those
innumerable specimens who do not forge or steal because they have no
need, and if they had would lack the courage; who observe the marriage
laws because they have been brought up to believe in them, and know
that breaking them brings risk and loss of reputation; who do not gamble
because they dare not; do not drink because it disagrees with them; go
to church because their neighbours go, and to procure an appetite for
the mid-day meal; commit no murder because, not transgressing in any
other fashion, they are not obliged. What is there to respect in persons
of this sort? Yet they are highly esteemed, and form three quarters of
Society. The rule with these good gentlemen is to shut their eyes, never
use their thinking powers, and close the door on all the dogs of life
for fear they should get bitten.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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