'It is all most valuable and interesting,' she said, 'though the facts
are so few. Books will be written, in the future, on these facts, which
will be filled out with conjecture and inference. Even the things that
you think of so little importance will be made the subject of comment
and criticism. Well--but my Biography of you will be the first and best
and most important. I shall first make a skeleton life out of the facts,
and then fill in the flesh and blood and put on the clothes, and present
you, dear Master, just as you are.'
'Ask me what you will, but not too often. It worries me to remember the
past. My dear, I am like a man who has made himself--who has risen from
the gutter. He cannot deny the fact, but he doesn't like to be talking
about it; and he is insulted if anyone charges him with the fact or
alludes to it in any way in his presence. That is my case exactly. I
have made myself. I have raised myself from the gutter--the gutter of
Property. I actually worked in defence of Property till I was sixty
years old and more. Now I am rather ashamed of that fact. I do not deny
it--you must put it into your Biography--but I do not like talking about
it.'
'You were once a solicitor, and you are now a Prophet. What a leap!
What a wonderful leap! I quite understand. Yet sometimes, now and then,
for the sake of the curious impertinent world, look back and tell me
what you see.'
'I suppose it is because I am so absorbed in my work that it is
difficult for me to remember things. Why, Elsie, day after day, from
morning to evening, I sit here at work. And in the evening I remember
nothing of the flight of time. The hours strike, but I hear them not.
Only the books on the table show what has been my occupation. And you
want me to go back, not to yesterday, but ten, twenty, thirty years ago.
My dear child, I cannot. Some of the past is clear to me--a day here and
there I remember clearly--all my evenings at the Hall of Science: my
lessons with you; those I remember. But to recall days passed in
meditation and absorbing study is not possible. No--no--I cannot even
try.'
He spoke with a little distress, as if the very thought of the necessary
effort troubled him.
'Believe me, my dear Master,' said Elsie, 'I would not vex you. Only for
some of the things which you do remember. For instance, the world always
wants to know about the private fortunes of its great men. Your own
affairs, you told me once, are in the hands of a--Mr.--Mr.--what is his
name?'
'Dering--Dering. A very well known solicitor. His office is in New
Square, Lincoln's Inn--he manages my money matters. I am, I believe,
what the world calls wealthy.'
'That gives you independence and the power of working for Humanity, does
it not?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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