"But, _Brenda_!" The long-drawn appeal of her name showed that the full
bitterness of the truth was coming home to him at last.
"I'm sorry," she said, and the sound of it was in some way painfully
final.
"It isn't because..." he began, but she anticipated his well-known reasons
by saying,--
"It's nothing to do with you or with anything you've done, nothing
whatever. I'm sorry, Ronnie, but it's fate--just fate. Do go, now. I'll
see you again before--before we go."
And still he stood for an instant undecided; and I could see the struggle
that was going on in him, between the influence of Harrow and Oxford and
those of the honest, simple primitive man. He knew that the right,
conventional thing for him to do was to be magnanimous; to admit that he
was the defeated lover, and to say something that would prove how splendid
he could be in the moment of disaster. The traditions of Harrow, Oxford,
and the melodrama united to give him an indication of the proper conduct
of the situation, and against them was ranged nothing more than one feral
impulse to take Banks by the throat and settle his blasphemous assumption
of rivalry off-hand.
But it was, I think, a third influence that decided the struggle for that
time. His glare of wrath at Banks had been followed by one last yearning
look at Brenda, and some sentimental realisation of his loss rose and
choked him, temporarily superseding the powers both of make-believe and
instinct. One lesson he had learnt at Harrow and Oxford so thoroughly that
he re-acted to it even in this supreme crisis of his life. He might give
expression to brutal passion, but in no circumstances whatever must he
break down and weep in public.
He turned quickly and blundered out of the room with a stumbling eagerness
to be alone that was extraordinarily pathetic.
"You'll admit, B., that it's cursedly hard lines on Ronnie after all these
years," Frank said with what sounded like genuine emotion.
She took that up at once. "I know it is," she said. "It's going to be hard
lines on lots of people, but there's no way out of it. You may think it's
silly tosh to talk about Fate; but it _is_ Fate."
And then she looked at Banks with something in her expression that was
surely enough to compensate him for any pain or sacrifice he might have to
endure for her.
"_We_ can't help it, can we, Arthur?" she said.
He was too moved to answer. He set his lips tightly together and shook his
head, gazing at her with a look of adoration and confidence that was
almost violent in its protestation of love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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