It did not require Dr. Johnson to speak such forcible words in his
hearing to enable him to perceive how ridiculous were his pretensions.
The tragedy of the poet's life among men and women eager to better their
prospects in the world was fully appreciated by him. It was surely, he
felt, the most cruel of all the cruelties of destiny, that the men who
make music of the passions of men--who have surrounded the passion
of love with a glorifying halo--should be doomed to spend their lives
looking on at the success of ordinary men in their loves by the aid of
the music which the poets have created. That is the poet's tragedy
of life, and Goldsmith had often found himself face to face with it,
feeling himself to be one of those with whom destiny is only on jesting
terms.
Because he was a poet he could not love any less beautiful creature than
Mary Hor-neck, any less gracious, less sweet, less pure, and yet he knew
that if he were to go to her with those poems in his hand which he only
of all living men could write, telling her that they might plead his
cause, he would be regarded--and rightly, too--as both presumptuous and
ridiculous.
He thought of the loneliness of his life. Was it the lot of the man of
letters to remain in loneliness while the people around him were taking
to themselves wives and begetting sons and daughters? Had he nothing to
look forward to but the laurel wreath? Was it taken for granted that a
contemplation of its shrivelling leaves would more than compensate the
poet for the loss of home--the grateful companionship of a wife--the
babble of children--all that his fellow-men associated with the gladness
and glory of life?
He knew that he had reached a position in the world of letters that was
surpassed by no living man in England. He had often dreamed of reaching
such a place, and to reach it he had undergone privation--he had
sacrificed the best years of his life. And what did his consciousness
of having attained his end bring with it? It brought to him the snarl of
envy, the howl of hatred, the mock of malice. The air was full of these
sounds; they dinned in his ears and overcame the sounds of the approval
of his friends.
And it was for this he had sacrificed so much? So much? Everything. He
had sacrificed his life. The one joy that had consoled him for all his
ills during the past few years had departed from him. He would never
see Mary Horneck again. To see her again would only be to increase the
burden of his humiliation. His resolution was formed and he would abide
by it.
He rose to his feet and picked up the roll of poems. In sign of his
resolution he would burn them. He would, with them, reduce to ashes the
one consolation of his life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account