The Jessica Letters: An Editor's RomanceHarris, Corra
General
The Jessica Letters: An Editor's Romance
Harris, Corra
Editors -- Fiction
I wonder sometimes if my inveterate pedantries do not amuse or, worse yet,
bore you. I am grown so used to books and the language of books. I believe
when Gabriel blows his trump I shall start up from my long slumber with a
Latin quotation on my lips--_At tuba terribili_, like as not. (Query: Does
Gabriel understand Latin, or is Hebrew your only celestial speech?)
I am trying to be facetious, but really the matter worries me a little.
Have you been laughing at me because I scolded you for neglecting your
Latin, and because I took a copy of Catullus in my pocket when we made our
Sunday excursion into the woods? Yet it was all so sweet to me. In the air
hovered the first premonitions of spring, and the sunlight poured down
upon the earth like an intoxicating wine that has been chilled in the
cellar but is golden yellow with the glow of an inner fire. And some day I
must set up an inscription on that Merlin oak over the nook where we sat
together and talked and read, and ceased from words when sweeter language
was required. As you leaned back against the warm, dry leaves I had piled
up, with your great cloak twisted about your body--all except your feet,
that would creep out into the sun, tantalising me with a thousand
forbidden thoughts--I understood how the old Greeks dreamed of dryads,
fairer than mortal women, who haunted the forests. It pains me almost to
think of that hour; I cannot fathom the meaning of so much beauty; a dumb
fear comes upon me lest you should fade from my life like an aerial vision
and leave me unsatisfied. Yet you seemed very real that day, and your lips
had all the fragrance of humanity.
Was it not characteristic of me that I could not revel in that present
bliss without seeking some warrant for my joy in ancient poetry? To read
of Catullus and his passion while your heart throbbed against my hand
seemed to lend a profounder reality to my own love. Dear dryad of the
groves, yet womanly warm, because inevitably I connect my emotions with
the hopes and fears of many poets who have trod the paths of Paradise
before me, because I translate my thoughts into their passionate words,
you must not therefore suppose that something fantastic and inhuman clings
to my love for you. The deeper my feelings, the more certainly do they
clothe themselves in all that my reading has garnered of rare and
beautiful. Other men woo with flowers; I would adorn you also with every
image and comparison of grace that the mind of man has conceived. The more
fully my love invades every faculty of my soul and body, the more certain
is it to assume for its own uses the labour and learning of my brain. You
see I am welded more than I could believe into a feminine unity by your
mystic touch, and that masculine duality of which I spoke is passing away.
With some trepidation I write out for you these half-borrowed verses:
VIVAMUS ATQUE AMEMUS
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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