The Jest Book: The Choicest Anecdotes and SayingsLemon, Mark
General
The Jest Book: The Choicest Anecdotes and Sayings
Lemon, Mark
Anecdotes -- Great Britain; English wit and humor
DCCCLI.--HIGHLAND POLITENESS.
SIR WALTER SCOTT had marked in his diary a territorial greeting of two
proprietors which had amused him much. The laird of Kilspindie had met
the laird of Tannachy-Tulloch, and the following compliments passed
between them: "Ye're maist obedient hummil servant, Tannachy-Tulloch."
To which the reply was, "Your nain man, Kilspindie."
DCCCLII.--AN ODD QUESTION.
COUNSELOR RUDD, of the Irish bar, was equally remarkable for his love of
whist, and the dingy color of his linen. "My dear Dick," said Curran to
him one day, "you can't think how puzzled we are to know where _you buy_
all your _dirty_ shirts."
DCCCLIII.--NOT INSURED AGAINST FIRE.
FOOTE went to spend his Christmas with Mr. B----, when, the weather
being very cold, and but bad fires, occasioned by a scarcity of wood in
the house, Foote, on the third day after he went there, ordered his
chaise, and was preparing to depart. Mr. B---- pressed him to stay. "No,
no," says Foote; "was I to stay any longer, you would not let me _have a
leg to stand on_; for there is so _little wood_ in your house, that I am
afraid one of your servants may light the fire with _my right leg_,"
which was his wooden one.
DCCCLIV.--NATURAL GRIEF.
ONE hiring a lodging said to the landlady, "I assure you, madam, I am so
much liked that I never left a lodging but my landlady shed
tears."--"Perhaps," said she, "you always went away without _paying_."
DCCCLV.--A PROVERB REVERSED.
EXAMPLE is better than precept they say,
With our parson the maxim should run t'other way;
For so badly he acts, and so wisely he teaches,
We should shun what he does, and should do what he preaches.
DCCCLVI.--A CLOSE ESCAPE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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