A TAILOR sent his bill to a lawyer for money; the lawyer bid the boy tell his master that he was not running away, but very busy at that time. The boy comes again, and tells him he must have the money. "Did you tell your master," said the lawyer, "that I was not running away?"--"Yes, sir," answered the boy; "but he bade me tell you that _he was_." MLXVII.--SMALL WIT. SIR GEORGE BEAUMONT once met Quin at a small dinner-party. There was a delicious pudding, which the master of the house, pushing the dish towards Quin, begged him to taste. A gentleman had just before helped himself to an immense piece of it. "Pray," said Quin, looking first at the gentleman's plate and then at the dish, "_which_ is the pudding?" MLXVIII.--EPIGRAM ON A STUDENT BEING PUT OUT OF COMMONS FOR MISSING CHAPEL. TO fast and pray we are by Scripture taught: Oh could I do but either as I ought! In both, alas! I err; my frailty such,-- I pray too little, and I fast too much. MLXIX.--MAKING PROGRESS. A STUDENT, being asked what progress he had made in the study of medicine, modestly replied: "I hope I shall soon be fully qualified as physician, for I think I am now able to _cure a child_." MLXX.--THE WOOLSACK. COLMAN and Banister dining one day with Lord Erskine, the ex-Chancellor, amongst other things, observed that he had then about three thousand head of sheep. "I perceive," interrupted Colman, "your lordship has still an eye to the woolsack." MLXXI.--SIR THOMAS COULSON. SIR THOMAS COULSON being present with a friend at the burning of Drury Lane Theatre, and observing several engines hastening to the spot where the fire had been extinguished, remarked that they were "_ingens_ cui lumen adeptum." MLXXII.--THROW PHYSIC TO THE DOGS! WHEN the celebrated Beau Nash was ill, Dr. Cheyne wrote a prescription for him. The next day the doctor, coming to see his patient, inquired if he had followed his prescription: "No, truly, doctor," said Nash; "if I had I should have broken my neck for I _threw it_ out of a two-pair-of-stairs window." MLXXIII.--MOTHERLY REMARK. SIR DAVID BAIRD, with great gallantry and humanity, had a queer temper. When news came to England that he was one of those poor prisoners in India who were tied back to back to fetter them, his mother exclaimed, "Heaven pity the man _that's tied_ to my Davy!" MLXXIV.--TOO GOOD. A PHYSICIAN, much attached to his profession, during his attendance on a man of letters, observing that the patient was very punctual in taking all his medicines, exclaimed in the pride of his heart: "Ah! my dear sir, you _deserve_ to be ill." MLXXV.--A BALANCE. "PAY me that six-and-eightpence you owe me, Mr. Malrooney," said a village attorney. "For what?"--"For the opinion you had of me."--"Faith, I _never_ had any _opinion_ of you in all my life." MLXXVI.--MONEY'S WORTH.