A VEHEMENT political declaimer, calling aloud for the head of Lord North, turned round and perceived his victim unconsciously indulging in a quiet slumber, and, becoming still more exasperated, denounced the Minister as capable of sleeping while he ruined his country; the latter only complained how cruel it was to be denied a solace which other criminals so often enjoyed, that of having a night's rest before their fate. On Mr. Martin's proposal to have a starling placed near the chair, and taught to repeat the cry of "_Infamous coalition_!" Lord North coolly suggested, that, as long as the worthy member was preserved to them, it would be a needless waste of the public money, since the starling might well perform his office _by deputy_. MCXII.--INCAPACITY. A YOUNG ecclesiastic asked his bishop permission to preach. "_I_ would permit you," answered the prelate; "but _nature_ will not." MCXIII.--EPIGRAM. (Suggested by hearing a debate in the House of Commons.) TO wonder now at Balaam's ass were weak; Is there a night that asses do not speak? MCXIV.--VALUE OF NOTHING. PORSON one day sent his gyp with a note to a certain Cantab, requesting him to find the value of nothing. Next day he met his friend walking, and stopping him, desired to know, "Whether he had succeeded?" His friend answered, "Yes!"--"And what may it be?" asked Porson. "_Sixpence_!" replied the Cantab, "which I gave the man for bringing the note." MCXV.--THE RIGHT ORGAN. SPURZHEIM was lecturing on phrenology. "What is to be conceived the organ of drunkenness?" said the professor. "The _barrel_-organ," interrupted an auditor. MCXVI.--MIND YOUR POINTS. A WRITER, in describing the last scene of "Othello," had this exquisite passage: "Upon which the Moor, seizing _a bolster full of rage and jealousy_, smothers her." MCXVII.--REASONS FOR DRINKING. DR. ALDRICH, of convivial memory, said there were five reasons for drinking:-- "Good wine, a friend, or being dry, Or lest you should be by and by, Or any other reason why." MCXVIII.--NO MATTER WHAT COLOR. AN eminent Scottish divine met two of his own parishioners at the house of a lawyer, whom he considered too sharp a practitioner. The lawyer ungraciously put the question, "Doctor, these are members of your flock; may I ask, do you look upon them as white sheep or as black sheep?"--"I don't know," answered the divine dryly, "whether they are black or white sheep; but I know, if they are long here, they are pretty sure to be _fleeced_." MCXIX.--AN ODD OCCURRENCE. AT a wedding the other day one of the guests, who often is a little absent-minded, observed gravely, "I have often remarked that there have been _more_ women than men married this year." MCXX.--A DANGEROUS GENERALIZATION.