ON one occasion a lad, while at home for the holidays, complained to his mother that a schoolfellow who slept with him took up half the bed. "And why not?" said the mother; "he's entitled to half, isn't he!"--"Yes, mother," rejoined her son; "but how would you like to have him take out all the soft for his half? He will have _his_ half out of the middle, and I have to sleep _both_ sides of him!" MCLXXXIX.--FORCE OF HABIT. A SERVANT of an old maiden lady, a patient of Dr. Poole, formerly of Edinburgh, was under orders to go to the doctor every morning to report the state of her health, how she had slept, &c., with strict injunctions _always_ to add, "with her compliments." At length, one morning the girl brought this extraordinary message: "Miss S----'s _compliments_, and she de'ed last night at aicht o'clock!" MCXC.--A WONDERFUL SIGHT. A JOLLY Jack-tar having strayed into Atkins's show at Bartholomew Fair, to have a look at the wild beasts, was much struck with the sight of a lion and a tiger in the same den. "Why, Jack," said he to a messmate, who was chewing a quid in silent amazement, "I shouldn't wonder if next year they were to carry about a _sailor and a marine living peaceably together_!"--"Aye," said his married companion, "or a _man and wife_." MCXCI.--BURKE AND FOX. MR. BURKE, in speaking of the indisposition of Mr. Fox, which prevented his making a motion for an investigation into the conduct of Lord Sandwich, said, "No one laments Mr. Fox's illness more than I do; and I declare that if he should continue ill, the inquiry into the conduct of the first Lord of the Admiralty should not be proceeded upon; and, should the country suffer so serious a calamity as his death, it ought to be followed up earnestly and solemnly; nay, of so much consequence is the inquiry to the public, that no bad use would be made of the skin of my departed friend, (should such, alas! be his fate!) if, like that of John Zisca, it should be converted _into a drum_, and used for the purpose of sounding an alarm to the people of England." MCXCII.--TRYING TO THE TEMPER. LORD ALLEN, in conversation with Rogers, the poet, observed: "I never put my razor into hot water, as I find it injures the temper of the blade."--"No doubt of it," replied Rogers; "show me the blade that is _not out of temper_ when plunged into _hot water_." MCXCIII.--HAVING A CALL. MR. DUNLOP, while making his pastoral visitations among some of the country members of his flock, came to a farm-house where he was expected; and the mistress, thinking that he would be in need of refreshment, proposed that he should take his tea before engaging in _exercises_, and said she would soon have it ready. Mr. Dunlop replied, "I aye tak' my tea better when my wark's dune. I'll just be gaun on. Ye can hing the pan on, an' lea' the door ajar, an' I'll draw to a close in the prayer when I hear the _haam fizzin'_." MCXCIV.--A WILL AND AWAY.