PROFESSOR SAUNDERSON, who occupied so distinguished a situation in the University of Cambridge as that of Lucasian Professor of Mathematics, was _quite blind_. Happening to make one in a large party, he remarked of a lady, who had just left the room, that she had very _white teeth_. The company were anxious to learn how he had discovered this, which was very true. "I have reason," observed the professor, "to believe that the lady is not a _fool_, and I can think of no other motive for her laughing incessantly, as she did for a whole hour together." MCCLXII.--A PLEASANT PARTNER. A FARMER having bought a barn in partnership with a neighbor who neglected to make use of it, plentifully stored his own part with corn, and expostulated with his partner on having laid out his money in so useless a way, adding, "You had better do _something_ with it, as you see I have done."--"As to that, neighbor," replied the other, "every man has a right to do what he will with his own, and _you_ have done so; but I have made up my mind about my part of the property,--I shall set it on fire." MCCLXIII.--TWO CARRIAGES. TWO ladies disputed for precedency, one the daughter of a wealthy brewer, the other the daughter of a gentleman of small fortune. "You are to consider, miss," said the brewer's daughter, "that my papa keeps a coach."--"Very true, miss," said the other, "and _you_ are to consider that he likewise keeps a _dray_." MCCLXIV.--EXCUSABLE FEAR. A HUSBAND, who only opposed his wife's ill humor by silence, was told by a friend that he "was afraid of his wife."--"It is not _she_ I am afraid of," replied the husband, "it is _the noise_." MCCLXV.--COLERIDGE AND THELWALL. THELWALL and Coleridge were sitting once in a beautiful recess in the Quantock Hills, when the latter said, "Citizen John, this is a fine place to _talk_ treason in!"--"Nay, Citizen Samuel," replied he; "It is rather a place to make a man _forget_ that there is any necessity for treason!" MCCLXVI.--A FLASH OF WIT. SYDNEY SMITH, after Macaulay's return from the East, remarked to a friend who had been speaking of the distinguished conversationalist: "Yes, he is certainly more agreeable since his return from India. His enemies might perhaps have said before (though I never did so) that he talked rather too much; but now he has _occasional flashes of silence, that make his conversation perfectly delightful_!" MCCLXVII.--LOST AND FOUND. THE ferryman, whilst plying over a water which was only slightly agitated, was asked by a timid lady in his boat, whether any persons were ever lost in that river. "O no," said he, "we always _finds 'em agin_ the next day." MCCLXVIII.--A MILITARY AXIOM.