A KEEN sportsman, who kept harriers, was so vexed when any noise was made while the hounds were at fault, that he rode up to a gentleman who accidentally coughed at such a time, and said, "I wish, with all my heart, sir, your _cough_ was better." MCCCLXXXVIII.--PATIENCE. WHEN Lord Chesterfield was one day at Newcastle House, the Duke happening to be very particularly engaged, the Earl was requested to sit down in an ante-room. "Garnet upon Job," a book dedicated to the Duke, happened to lie in the window; and his Grace, on entering, found the Earl so busily engaged in reading, that he asked how he liked the commentary. "In any other place," replied Chesterfield, "I should not think much of it; but there is so much _propriety_ in putting a volume upon _patience_ in the room where every visitor has to wait for your Grace, that _here_ it must be considered as one of the _best books in the world_." MCCCLXXXIX.--WHAT'S MY THOUGHT LIKE? _Quest._ WHY is a pump like Viscount Castlereagh? _Ans._ Because it is a slender thing of wood, That up and down its awkward arm doth sway, And coolly shout, and spout, and spout away, In one weak, washy, everlasting flood! MCCCXC.--NOT GIVING HIMSELF "AIRS." ARCHDEACON PALEY was in very high spirits when he was presented to his first preferment in the Church. He attended at a visitation dinner just after this event, and during the entertainment called out jocosely, "Waiter, shut down that window at the back of my chair, and open another behind some _curate_." MCCCXCI.--A BARBER SHAVED BY A LAWYER. "SIR," said a barber to an attorney who was passing his door, "will you tell me if this is a good half-sovereign?" The lawyer, pronouncing the piece good, deposited it in his pocket, adding, with gravity, "If you'll send your lad to my office, I'll return the _three and four-pence_." MCCCXCII.--A MAN OF METAL. EDWIN JAMES, examining a witness, asked him what his business was. He answered, "A dealer in old iron."--"Then," said the counsel, "you must of course be a thief."--"I don't see," replied the witness, "why a dealer in _iron_ must necessarily be a thief, more than a dealer in _brass_." MCCCXCIII.--SPECIMEN OF THE LACONIC. "BE less prolix," says Grill. I like advice. "Grill, you're an ass!" Now, surely, that's concise. MCCCXCIV.--A DROP. DEAN SWIFT was one day in company, when the conversation fell upon the antiquity of the family. The lady of the house expatiated a little too freely on her descent, observing that her ancestors' names began with De, and, of course, of antique French extraction. When she had finished; "And now," said the Dean, "will you be so kind as to help me to a piece of that _D--umpling_?" MCCCXCV.--ERROR IN JUDGMENT.