ONE evening, at a private party at Oxford, at which Dr. Johnson was present, a recently published essay on the future life of brutes was referred to, and a gentleman, disposed to support the author's opinion that the lower animals have an "immortal part," familiarly remarked to the doctor, "Really, sir, when we see a very sensible dog, we don't know what to think of him." Johnson, turning quickly round, replied, "True, sir; and when we see a very foolish _fellow_, we don't know what to think of _him_." MCDLXII.--A PROFESSIONAL AIM. IN a duel between two attorneys, one of them shot away the skirt of the other's coat. His second, observing the truth of his aim, declared that had his friend been engaged with a _client_ he would very probably have _hit his pocket_. MCDLXIII.--FLYING COLORS. SIR GODFREY KNELLER latterly painted more for profit than for praise, and is said to have used some whimsical preparations in his colors, which made them work fair and smoothly off, but not endure. A friend, noticing it to him, said, "What do you think posterity will say, Sir Godfrey Kneller, when they see these pictures some years hence?"--"Say!" replied the artist: "why, they'll say Sir Godfrey Kneller _never_ painted them!" MCDLXIV.--AN ENTERTAINING PROPOSITION. A POMPOUS fellow made a very inadequate offer for a valuable property; and, calling the next day for an answer, inquired of the gentleman if he had _entertained his proposition_. "No," replied the other, "your proposition _entertained me_." MCDLXV.--UNION OF OPPOSITES. A PHRENOLOGIST remarking that some persons had the organ of murder and benevolence strongly and equally developed, his friend replied, "that doubtless those were the persons _who would kill one with kindness_." MCDLXVI.--EPIGRAM. (On ----'s Veracity.) HE boasts about the truth I've heard, And vows he'd never break it; Why, zounds, a man _must_ keep his word When nobody will take it. MCDLXVII.--AN UNTAXED LUXURY. A LADY having remarked in company that she thought there should be a tax on "_the single state_"; "Yes, madam," rejoined an obstinate old bachelor, "as on all other _luxuries_." MCDLXVIII.--A DEAR SPEAKER. SOON after the Irish members were admitted into the House of Commons, on the union of the kingdom in 1801, one of them, in the middle of his maiden speech, thus addressed the chair: "And now, _my dear_ Mr. Speaker," etc. This excited loud laughter. As soon as the mirth had subsided, Mr. Sheridan observed, "that the honorable member was perfectly in order; for, thanks to the ministers, now-a-days _everything is dear_." MCDLXIX.--ABSURDLY LOGICAL. A MAD Quaker (wrote Sydney Smith) belongs to a small and rich sect; and is, therefore, of _greater_ importance than any other _mad person_ of the same degree in life. MCDLXX.--PROOF POSITIVE.